Hi Tony
Shopping for one is difficult in a supermarket as you usually cannot by items individually for one person.
I also relive that fateful day over 6 weeks ago on a daily basis and blame myself for not making her go to A&E earlier. I am 63 and Alicia was 64 and l dread the thought of the future on my own. What l really dread is having an illness and nobody being here to help look after me like my wife would have done.
Take care Tony.
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Hi Trevor,
I have lived on ready meals since June passed. Rice every day. The fridge is more or less empty now. I don’t have vegetables any more. I just cannot be bothered to try and cook for myself not that I have any skills in that department. I have lost over 2 st non weight now. I have excess weight to lose so I’m not worried about that.
I intend to make a living will (DNR). I have given it a lot of thought in recent days. I have no family and don’t want to be a burden to anyone so I’m going to make my wishes known before hopefully anything happens to me.
I constantly think why June passed. It’s June’s Birthday this week which I’m dreading. I like you with Alicia am lost without my soul mate and best friend. I too go back and have my regrets Trevor I think we all have if we are honest. It’s better to think of the positives. I try to be positive and say to myself June is pain free now and not having to deal with her disability any longer. I’m very lonely without my Love. Take care. Tony
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Hi
I lost my granddaughter on 15th october she was 13! Hit by a car and tragically fatally.
I miss her every day and every night. Cry every day!
Perhaps we can arrange a zoom call together and get a group going.
Where do we all live? X
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Hi Ellalouise4
Very sorry to hear about your loss. Such a young age. Absolutely devastating and such a shock.
Welcome to the forum. There are a lot of fellow sufferers on here to share and correspond with.
I lost June my wife last December - she collapsed sat in front of me. I miss her every minute of the day. I’m lost without her. Take care and keep talking or writing like the rest of us looking for some comfort. Tony
Oh my goodness, how utterly heartbreaking for you. So very sorry for your tragic loss x
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Hi Tony
Like you, I hate shopping for one and I’m so grateful for a mask and sunglasses. My husband, Ian, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly near 34 weeks ago now but it still feels like yesterday. We were together for nearly 40 years.
We used to shop together every Sunday followed by a coffee and a walk in the park. I can’t visit that store anymore and in fact, rarely shop as it’s so upsetting just buying for one. My fridge is practically empty and I just live on snacks.
As to the future, I can’t see one.
Take care,
Julie x
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Tony
I can cook and used to do most of the cooking for both of us. My step daughter would say my roast dinners were far better than her mums. I am quite domesticated.
Although l am in emotional pain l would not want my family to go through the pain of losing me so recently after losing Alicia.
Like you l constantly think of Alicia, her birthday is coming up in about 2 months time and l am dreading it. I have been told to look at the happy times we had in our short time together but this then triggers thoughts of what we planned in our retirement which now have been shattered.
For me weekends are the worst. During the week l work and talk to people but at the weekends l can go virtually all weekend without speaking to anyone as happened last weekend.
Tony try to stay positive but l know this is easier said than done. Take care. Trevor.
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Hi Ellalouise4
I’m so sorry for your loss, you and your family must be utterly devastated. My heart goes out to you as grief is such an overwhelming and heartbreaking emotion.
I lost my husband of nearly 40 years suddenly and unexpectedly 34 weeks ago now. It still feels like yesterday and this forum has been one of the few places where I can openly express how I feel. Nobody judges, they just listen and share their thoughts and feelings. I hope you will find the same in time.
Take care of yourself,
X Julie
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Hi thank you for replying. Every day is a big struggle. Work seems to be the only place that keeps my mind going. Then I go home and cry. Or I go and talk to her in the churchyard. I know she is not there but it helps.
If you ever need someone to talk to I will happily give you my email or contact no . Please let me know if you would like to get in touch x
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Like many here I’m finding it hard to cope, I even broke down talking with the GP today. Being on my own is the hardest part not having a conversation, not asking what do you want for tea. I wake up in the night hoping to see my wife still lying beside me but it’ll never happen. I spend as much time as I can asleep but at 53 I’m sure I shouldn’t. Worse than that is I’m being told I need to find work, I was my wife’s carer for 21 years their not even giving me time to learn to live without my wife, not leaving me alone to cry alone. We were together everyday and coped as a team she supported me and I her but now that support has gone and no one seems to understand that.
Take care everyone and remember you’re not alone when your on here, we are all hurting.
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tjs633
Like you being on my own is the hard part. Talking to family helps but they are not interested in mundane talk about what happened at work today, what colour are we going to paint the conservatory (we had a new conservatory erected 2 weeks before my wife Alicia’s passing), about the kids etc.
I used to cook tea for us both but l now have no great interest in cooking anything, but just cook something as l have to eat.
I miss our cuddles, kisses and holding hands, which l will never experience again. I find this really hard.
I have gone back to work as l need to pay bills especially as fuel prices are rocketing up and to keep my mind occupied although it wanders to thinking about Alicia and the future retirement plans which have been shattered.
I am 63 and both of us were married before and we only met 15 years ago.
For those who have not gone through the grief of losing a wife/husband they will never understand the devastating grief. It feels like your insides have been torn out. I have lost parents and grand parents but the grief for them is nothing like the grief of losing your wife/husband.
I have found some comfort on this chat room/forum as l can unload my feelings to others who are in a similar position.
Take care.
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Hi
Thank you for offering to keep in touch, that was very kind of you. I am struggling so much to come to terms with the death of my husband of nearly forty years, 34 weeks tomorrow. I live far away from close friends and family so I can go days without speaking to someone I know face to face.
I live in West Devon and can find no bereavement support groups near me.
If it helps going to the church and talking to your granddaughter then keep doing it. I spend hours sat in Ian’s car at one of our favourite haunts. I’m sat in one now and it does give me a form of peace. I buy a take away coffee like we used to and keep a look out for any robins. One comes occasionally and it may be ‘Ian’ watching over me. I haven’t seen one today though.
Your granddaughter was so young to have her future so cruelly taken from her. Life is so unfair and that is so hard to accept.
Take care,
X Julie
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Good morning. Sorry if not replied sooner. It’s been a really hard week and weekend. So many memories coming up on social media of Mya it has been upsetting. The grief comes in waves but to see my vibrant 13 year old granddaughter with her friends having fun is heartbreaking every day.
I hope you and other people reading this have had a bit of a better week. The more we all talk it may help us to know we are thinking of others. The offer is still there for personal contact x
Hi hope you are feeling a bit OK this week. Iv had a rough week . My memories of Mya my sassy, loving 13 year old granddaughter have been so strong this week iv truly struggled. It’s now 4 months and doesnt seem to get better. Please message me anytime as it helps so share
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How awful for you and she was so young hope they got the person that did this dreadful thing. I’m to having a bad week just keep crying and panicking all the time. Your right it does come in waves mine are gigantic waves perhaps that’s why I feel sick all the time.
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I’ve been following what everyone has said and its all so true. One minute I’m fine the next I find myself crying and wishing my wife was here to hold me. I have my daughters come once a week which is great but then their gone and I’m on my own again. I’ve started to look forward to the chemist delivering my meds, just so I have someone to talk to. It’s so lonely but I know being on here I’m not alone. We just have to keep going and together we’ll all hopefully get to a better place. Stay strong and well.
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