I feel so isolated. I haven’t had any human contact for days. It’s so lonely and scary. I’m in bed by 5pm just to keep warm how I’m going to afford energy bills I just don’t know so I don’t have it on . This is no way to live wots the point of it all 
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I feel exactly the same way, and wonder how on earth I will cope.
Another worry on top of everything else
I hate this new life without Alan,
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Hi Misprint
I’m so sorry you are feeling as you do. Like you, I miss human contact and how often everyone else is just too busy with their own lives. One neighbour actually wrote in her Christmas card that her downtime was too precious and that’s why she didn’t contact me!
I too find myself going to bed earlier and earlier as what is the point of staying up on one’s own. I’m sorry you are worried about your energy bills on top of everything else.
Grieving is so lonely and devastating that there seems little point in anything anymore.
Look after yourself and keep warm the best way you can,
Julie x
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Thanks I’m in bed with my two dogs beside me keeping warm I feel like crying my eyes out
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Thanks for reply seems its one worry after another at the moment
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Oh I’m so sorry to hear you haven’t seen anyone for days Misprint.
It’s so difficult to deal with this heavy weight of grief isn’t it?! I had a meltdown about Ian today, it just came out of nowhere. Cried and cried about how he suffered, about how he was so scared of Covid and how we couldn’t have visitors when he was ill etc etc etc.
Can you try and get some help with your bills??
Have you tried Citizen’s Advice for help with your money problems?
As Julie says, grieving is so lonely and devastating. I totally agree. I just feel exhausted all the time.
Cuddle your beautiful dogs, take care and please know you’re not alone
Janey xx
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Misprint.
Like you l have not had face to face human contact for days. I have had the odd telephone calls and Watts app messages but these are not the same.
I had lots of contact in the weeks leading up to my wife’s funeral 2 weeks ago but that has now all tailed off, with the odd calls and messages from family only.
Like you this grief is eating away inside me and l feel what is the point with no future plans and happiness ahead of me.
I too am worried about rising energy bills. I don’t go to bed early, but wrap myself up in a quilt in my chair and go to bed as late as possible so l can drop off to sleep quickly and not have the emotion of thinking about my wife.
When my wife passed away l thought it was only me going through these devastating times but l now know from this forum others are in exactly the same way and l am not alone. Messaging on this forum is a great help to me but not the same a human contact.
Take care.
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Trev,
You are not alone. I lost my wife of 43 years 8 weeks ago suddenly unexpectedly in front of me at home. I replay the scene daily multiple times. I too struggle with a lonely very cold house. I have trouble sleeping even with tablets. I cry a lot and talk to a picture of June constantly. We had no family so I’m on my own except for any contact from people who message or occasionally call. Contact has reduced since June’s Funeral a month ago. I’m not ready to socialise anyway. I don’t think I ever will be. You are not alone friend so take comfort in that. We are here for each other at the good and bad times. Take care mate.
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The loneliness is a killer. I try to keep busy, pass the days but don’t see a soul for days on end. You do question the point of it all. I’m trying to be brave but am suffering from anxiety. I don’t like to go out alone, I feel so vulnerable now, and like others have said, I’m so worried about the rise in energy prices. I sit with a throw and hot water bottle and hardly use the heating. I try to lose myself in a movie on Netflix in the evenings but just end up falling asleep. This grieving is so intense it simply takes you for all you’ve got and leaves you feeling exhausted. I feel like a little rag doll who’s had the stuffing knocked out of her.
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What a perfect description Sakinah, “a little rag doll who’s had the stuffing knocked out of her”
That’s exactly how I feel.
It’s getting harder, it’s almost a year since I lost my darling Ian and this last week I’ve been knocked sideways by waves of grief again. I did think I was gradually getting better…then another wave comes and you almost drown.
Thinking of us all on this most sad, difficult journey
Janey x
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Hi shiney999
Thank you for your message.
I have moments of sadness when l well up and tears flow. This has happened a number of times today went some incident on a TV programme or a TV advert brings back memories of that fateful day just over 6 weeks ago or of future retirement plans we had which will never happen.
I also talk to photos of my Alicia and also send her a good night text message before l go to sleep.
We didn’t really socialise much, we preferred our own company. Last weekend l was asked if l wanted to go to a quiz. I went but l felt uneasy and insecure being out and not being with Alicia. I very rarely went out without her. I don’t drink alcohol as it could set off my pancreatitis again. I don’t think I will socialise again for a quite a while if ever.
Messaging on this forum does give me some comfort.
Take care.
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Sakinah
The loneliness is the hardest thing to bear and l do wonder if there is any light at the end of this seemingly very long tunnel. I also find it difficult to go out and find safety in the house although there are so many memories of Alicia where ever l look.
The grief is intense and l am tired most of the time.
Take care x
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Hi JaneyS
I agree that is a very good description and l feel the same also. I am completely drained of energy.
I am only just over 6 weeks into my grief so it is still raw and l get upset everyday especially when something on TV sparks some memory of what has been or what would have been with Alicia. I still cannot comprehend how l am in this situation when we had our retirement years to look forward to.
Take care on this sad journey xx
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The loneliness is so hard for them, even when they have friends who go out with them in the day. I am lucky as I am not on my own yet by but my 85 year old mum is after losing my dad last year. There should be some kind of group that lets lonely people get in contact and set up living together, there must be so many lonely people out there.
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The hardest thing ever grief, and until anyone goes through it, they could never understand.
Be proud of any little steps you take in your journey of being able to try and deal with things
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Hi Trev,
There are so many similarities in you message. We could be clones of each other both in the way we are experiencing suffering now you with your Alicia and me with my June. I dread each day. I have not socialised other than in Church at the Funeral 8 weeks ago. I don’t drink either out of choice. Both our wives were such a huge part of our lives for so many years Trev it will be a rough road ahead. We had no family so we’re soul mates best friends and constant companions. We will love them forever. I talk to June’s picture throughout the day morning to night. I also say a Prayer for us before attempting to sleep. Stay well Trev and take care.
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I’m the opposite never stop, no concept of time, even forget to eat, rarely bed before 12
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Yep know what you mean x
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Hi Shiney
We do have so many similarities. Alicia was a huge part of the last 15 years of my life and her passing has left a large hole in my life and has left me with a broken heart. Unlike you l do have family but they now seem to be carrying on with their own lives leaving me with my grief and loneliness.
Today l had to go to the supermarket to get some food. I was OK in the shop but when l returned to the car to unload the shopping l had a meltdown thinking about little things we did when we went food shopping together.
Like you we will love them forever. There is noway l can ever love again.
Shiney you also stay well and take care. Trevor
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Hi Trevor,
I find my weekly shop also very difficult. I wear my mask to hide my upset from others who I cannot really look at. I am used to doing some of the shopping alone but not just for myself. We used to get the bulk of shopping delivered during lockdown as June had Multiple Sclerosis and was also a cancer survivor. I can tell you Trevor our fridge has never been so empty. I avoid going out as much as possible. I hate driving which I have always found a normal experience. I have lost my confidence in doing anything whatsoever even renewing Insurance. I have done the admin stuff for decades but find it a real struggle now. June collapsed at home and passed from an unrelated unknown reason. It was so sudden just awful. I relive it multiple times daily. I’m 66 and cannot see a future. The thought of being on my own for the rest of my days is terrifying. We were married 43 years and were constant companions. I intend to make a living will this week with a dnr attached. I could never love anyone in the same way as June just like you with Alicia. Take care Trevor. I send you and others reading this post my very best. Tony
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