Hi Misprint. I am on holiday on a cruise in the middle of the ocean. It was the last holiday we planned together before Sue died 9 months ago. I wish she was here, but instead I have to rely on the memories of our wonderful 28 years together when we shared almost all of every day. I have realised that I am now the keeper of those shared memories, and I am hoping that I can keep those memories going as long as possible. Losing her is bad enough, and some days are almost unbearable. But I am on a mission to save our memories. I hope that you can find some solace.
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Thankyou for replying one day maybe the tears and pain will ease and we can take a few small steps to the very different life we will have, we had a son & Daughter who are also finding it hard he was such a big part of all our lives and know we will all miss him forever but hope one day I can make him proud by just getting some sort of life and climb out of this black hole that seem to engulf me. Hugs all.
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Hi Ann74
Iām finding it really hard. All I can say is I get up every day and I am functioning ā¦ to what level who knows. I feel sorry for me and our grown up children and our grandchild but most of all my husband for what he is missing out on ā¦ especially seeing our grandchild growing up. We never asked for much we were happy in our every day lives and our annual holiday. He was such a good and loving man and would do anything for anyone in need. Wishing you well.X
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Hi Anne74
The above message is for you but it seems I sent it to myself. I think itās brain fog.x
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Thanks life will never be the same but we will do our best for children and grandkids and try to make the best of an awful situation. I am in Devon and go to our favourite beach not that I see much through the tears.
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I wish I had someone to chat to as I am on my own all the time it is really depressing
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@TERENCEe I read your comment with a year in my eye. I feel for you. Loneliness is not healthy at any time but is so much harder when you have lost a loved one and are struggling with bereavement. Do you have any family or friends that you can talk to? Sending you a hug. c
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Thank you I have a son his lovely wife and two grandchildren but they have their busy lives and I donāt want to be a burden on them. Thank you for the hug itās what I really need
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@TERENCEe Good to hear you have a lovely family. Although they lead busy lives try and reach out to your son if you can. He may not realise you are struggling unless you tell him. This group and itās members are very supportive when other members are struggling so you should also post how you are feeling when you need to. Sending you another hug. x
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I appreciate total strangers having all this care and compassion for me. Just had a bummer of a day a gardener had been doing some work for me and he had not fully finished so said Iād pay the last 40 pound I owed him when heād finished he turned nasty and threatening so after many nasty messages from him Iāve paid him just to get rid boy did it upset me so. This is the reason that my husband and I did all work ourselves and unfortunately this just makes things worse. Sorry for the rant
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Hi. So sorry you have had such a bad experience with gardener . There are some nasty people out there . This is when it hits us the hardest . Our husbands not being here . Never a real problem when they were here supporting us . Our lives now are bad enough without having to deal with nomarks like the gardener . Hope your rant has helped you . We are all here on this site ,to listen and try and give support . Sending a big hug . Xtake carex
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Thank you for your understanding having a rant really helped sorry to off load on you but you really helped. Thank youā¤
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I had a similar experience when a patient at work was really aggressive and rude to me (Iām a dental receptionist). It hurt me for days. I try to consider what might be going on in someoneās life to make them respond in such a rude manner but obviously they donāt show the same consideration -I guess we are feeling more vulnerable at this time and thatās why it hurts so much.
I hope you felt better after your ārantā. I wouldnāt call it that but I know what you mean. At least you have the upper hand and never need to use this gardener again.
Hugs to you hope you are feeling stronger now.
K x
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Thank you it really restores your faith that there are some nice people in the world especially while we are so vulnerable I have been out to a craft club with friends for a few hours tonight and must admit the two events and consideration from total strangers has made me feel better
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I totally agree ginger kitty. I too find the little things hard and lonely like siting outside. Cooking ameal just for me, even to cleaning the house - whatās the point just for me
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I can clean the house but cooking a meal I have not done that since April when he died I am still a mess but trying to get there
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That is so sad 
I do hear you though Steve was adamant that our friends would be there for me but they disappear carrying on with their lives - they say things like Iām so sorry I havenāt been round but Iāve got so many things going on / problems I just canāt get there! Or I thought you needed some space! 
no I need someone to listen! I hope the move went ok and that you have settled in xx
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im on my own as well
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Itās awful being on your own you feel as though you have no purpose in life and have no incentive to get up and do anything, it is just such a lonely life
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@Misprint
I feel for you
This resonates on a level with me, but obviously a different situation as I am not moving!
Mine is with a big garden clear up, getting some large bulky items moved and or taken away and a trip into the loft. Those jobs you just cant do on your own, unless you have two pairs of hands!
I lost my darling husband exactly 11 months ago today.
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