I’m just not coping anymore. I’m writing this just crying again. Everything just keeps going wrong. I’m having counselling and my counsellor says I am a very strong person as I get up every morning and do all the mundane things. I had a bad experience yesterday as a lorry nearly ran me off the road and left me shaken up all afternoon and evening. I haven’t slept much either which dosn’t help. Now I’ve noticed that there is a big damp patch on an outside wall and it looks like the guttering needs replacing which is going to cost a bomb which I dont have. My darling husband passed away in June and I miss him so much it hurts like hell. I dont know how to cope with everything else as well as the grief. I thought I was coping ok but have hit rock bottom again.
Good morning, I just wanted to say hello and to take it day by day. Do you have family who can help with sorting these things out? Or there may be services than can help? It’s hard enough dealing with grief let alone anything else. Sorry to hear about your experience driving Yesterday I think everything knocks us sideways and the mundane we can cope with but anything other is just too much. I can’t even do the mundane today I’m heading back to bed to forget the world I find myself in for a few more hours. Keep talking and know there is so much support on here for you. Sending love your way x
It’s almost as if all these things that need to be done keep appearing. I’m currently trying to decorate the small bedroom having got rid of the mould/damp after water had come in and now part of the stuff on the shed roof has come off! I was so used to having him do all of the practical stuff which is why I find it really hard and of course “friends” don’t seem to really want to help now. It’s been about 9 months for me and I just try and deal with each day as it comes. Some days feel a bit better but others not so good but I suppose it was bound to happen having been with Keef for nearly 44 years. You just need to listen to your body/head and if you need to cry/go to bed/scream do it. Take care now off to try and do some painting if I can get the fat cat off my lap!
Good morning, ive just read your post. Sorry to hear of your loss of your husband, i lost my wife in April. I feel like im barely coping, i now have to do all that my wife contributed to our it was 50/50 before! Its lonely and feels overwhelming if im honest, day by day, i get up go to work come home, cook and clean, im also been looking after my brother who has Downs Syndrome, he has just moved in with us a week before my wife passed, social services are a disgrace im gettong no help or support with him, apparently hes 2 years away from the top of their list.
I woke in the middle of the night sobbing, i had just dreamt she was next to me talking like nothing had happened, its starting me off again now thinking about it, it is truly relentless i know.
Im a builder, your damp patch maybe something really simple like a joint rubber gasket gone or some of your roofing felt has torn under the last tike, get a few quotes off builders, especially if you can get a recomendation it may only be a few hundred pounds to sort out, a scaffold tower should be no more than a few hundred also unless you live in a tower block!!!
If you sent me some pics inside and out i could take a look maybe i could try and tell you roughly where its from. Regards ken
@Solly . Ken thank you so much for your kind offer to advise me. I will get back to you with some photos as soon as I feel I can cope a bit better. I have done something Ive not done before this but taken myself off to bed for a few hours to see if I can at last get some sleep. Thank you again. Ann
Get a big cuddle cushion and an ultra soft throw. It doesn’t matter what time you sleep as long as you do, if it doesn’t affect work that is, i found some lavender pillow spray both helpful and comforting when dozing off! I made my bed like a nest, pillows everywhere. it helps me relax, talking on here has helped me alot too, just knowing im not alone.
Well can it get any worse. Came downstairs this morning to a flooded hallway. Radiator leaking and couldn’t isolate it. Thankfully I have insurance that covers it. Company couldn’t get to me until 5pm so spent the day mopping up. New rad fitted so tried to calm down. Came up to bed and walked into bathroom to find radiator in there leaking and floor all soaking wet. You just couldn’t make it up. Dont think I will get much sleep tonight. So many tears again. Sorry to carry on but just needed to sort of tell someone. Really dont know how to cope anymore.
@AnnieG1 it’s never easy at the best of times when things go wrong and now without our person, doing this is overwhelming and hard. But you sorted it. You got one situation fixed and now you can sort this one.
It’s not easy but you’re doing it. I have anxiety when anything goes wrong but a sense of achievement when it’s sorted. I’ve had to do so much since my partner died and I’m going that’s it for a while but I doubt it. Theres always something and usually things do go wrong together as they were either fitted or installed at the same time.
It’s a bugger but you’re doing it, doesn’t matter if you’re kicking and screaming or crying when you get it sorted. You’re still getting it done.
Take up Kens offer and get quotes. It might not be as bad as you think. Why are we allhaving these house disasters. Ive had lots of disasters too. Its as if I’m being tested from above. Its so hard when you lose your practical person but also the income. Russ had only worked part time for the 10 yesrs before he retired so for 2 years we were probably better off than we’d ever been. Then bang his pension is stopped and little work one was halved. Fortunately, I’m still working but I do feel life is going overboard with the punishments. The only thing that kedps me sane is this forum . Another day of rain to contend with too.