Just One Word

Losing a partner
1

That’s all it takes - just one word on the news tonight and I was catapulted back to last September. That word was ‘coma’

Back to the images of my partner in ICU, hooked up to machines beeping, keeping him alive. The black marks on his arms where he’d had so many needles taking blood or delivering medication.

Day after day for more than a week, until they said that they had done as much as possible. And then those words, “he’s gone now.”

I know these aren’t the memories that I want to keep, but they keep returning, weaving their way into the rest of my memories. I think they will always be there. I just need to try and find a way to keep them in check, and not run out of control.

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I wish I could give you a way out but it’s the same for me, witness the last breath. It gets easier, not better, just easier, less painfull, I think. I’m thankful I was there when she went. Somehow it will make sense in the end

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Keep reaching out on here, it’s a good place, people will be along x

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