I lost my mum In may, I’m 21 and today I had a job interview. And all I wanted to do was tell my mum. I feel like I’m crazy because I feel like she’s going to call me any second but she never does.
As I’ve said in previous posts I’m away from home studying at uni and don’t want to bother my family back home as I know they will only start to worry more.
My grandparents especially my grandma isn’t coping and I don’t want to add more stress to there plate. But i just feel lost.
I’ve been having really bad nightmares, lots of different but mostly just reliving my mums passing over and over again I was in the room when she passed away and it was the most traumatic thing to watch as to me even tho she was on a syringe drive to keep her comfortable, I can just feel it in my heart the pain she was actually feeling.
I’ve been on a waiting list for counselling for 3 months and I finally got my first appointment through today. But I’m worried they are just going to try and focus on my other issues before they try and handle bereavement as they aren’t bereavement specialists.
I don’t know what to do, I just feel really lost without my mum.