Thank you Mary I have had some counselling which is helping me to focus on the good not the bad. I really did love my mum dearly and showed her all the time that I did. Anything I didn’t do was because I didn’t know what was about to happen I just did not know how ill she was my dad nor the drs did either. . And that wonderful thing hindsight is not helpful. I did my best at the time. It’s what we all try to do. X