Oh bloody hell. Come away. But can I I sleep. No.
I’m past the the first steps of grieving. But I never sleep. Sat in my family’s house miles away from home. N still im sat down stairs at 3 in the morning. Trying to make sense. There is no sense. Do I think my boy stays up all night contemplating. No he’s long gone to sleep. So why me, I spend many a night awake. Miss him so much. If I could qualify all the sleepless nights I’d be a millionaire. Grief is horrible it turns your world upside down. Yet the person that’s gone knows nothing about it. You sit in in pain. Asking all those questions. Questions that have know answers. Torturing yourself. Sorry just rambling tonight
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Hi @Jim10 ,
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community 
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
Take good care,
Alex
Hi @Jim10
I lost my son over a year ago. It feels like every minute of every day he comes into my mind. I get up, a reminder he is not here, i get in the car, a song comes on my playlist that reminds me, I could go on and on. I visit his grave, i remember that day like it was yesterday, i worry about him being cold and alone. I cry every time i talk about him. I cry at work, i cry at home, i cry when i am talking to people, i cry in my car. I put my ok face on at work to deal with the hi how are you people, who are not really asking, i mean after a year people don’t expect you to be crying. I feel like i might cry forever. Does he know, no. He made a terrible decision not to be hear after suffering abuse at the hands of his ‘lovely’ girlfriend. I tidy his room, as if he were coming back, i tidy his desk. I refuse to say goodbye to him. I understand your pain. Maybe try a herbal sleeping pill or something. Have you listened to any mindfulness things online. They can be very relaxing. Just message if you need somebody to talk to.
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