Just when you think it’s ok

Just when you think you are getting things together and then wham!!! It’s all gone out the window and you feel back to square one. My house was always a noisy house and now it’s the complete opposite end of the spectrum. My daughter has big issues about me being on my own and she keeps getting me to go and spend the night at their house ( which is only the other end of the street) . Then I have to come back home and spend another first night alone. I know she means well and it’s still fairly early days for . I lost my rock on 1st September so we have just had the first Christmas without him.
It’s not the carrying on I find a struggle it’s the carrying in alone I struggle terribly with and I keep telling myself this is what my life is from here on .

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Tillwemeetagain im sure it will get easier but it’s the here and now he have to deal with . I am 100% certain our loved ones wouldn’t want us to feel this way but had the boot been on the other foot they too would feel the hurt, pain and loneliness we are now experiencing.
Another thing I find hard is telling the kids “ I’m fine” when I know I’m not because My world has been shattered and I just can’t put the pieces back together again .

I lost my hubby on the 22nd of September … Today my sister called , she has been a widow many years . she asked if i was ok , i burst into years and said i cant wait while being in this house alone seems normal . she assured me i would get there . But i get you , the aloness is real hard to cope with .