Three years on from losing my wife and doing well. Then all of a sudden it all came back unexpected. I am ok but have had to take sometime of of work to work through this. It just shows you grief can hit you at anytime again when you least expect it.
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Hello @Brian345 ,
I’m so sorry to hear about your wife. It sounds as though things are very difficult for you again at the moment and you are feeling like your grief has returned unexpectedly. Grief can catch us when we least expect it.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to remind you of these links to help you with your grief.
You might already be familiar with our other Online Bereavement Support services, but if not, you can find out more about our Online Counselling service, our Grief Coach text support service, and our Grief Guide self-help tools by visiting the link.
Take care - keep reaching out,
Alex
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@Brian345
I’m sorry to hear that your grief has resurfaced with such pain - it’s like being hit by a cannon ball. I lost a brother in 1998, his loss hits me when I least expect it to & some people think that I should be over his death by now. Time is irrelevant when we’re processing the loss of a loved one. We just have to take time to acknowledge the emotions, tread water until we can swim again, reach out & share your feelings, talk to your loved one, until the waves recede.
I wish you peace as you journey through this next episode of healing 
.
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Hi @Brian345
Like @Malteser says grief can affect any of us at anytime
No matter how long it seems to resurface when we least expect it.
I thought i was managing through the days quite well then other things happened the last month to throw me and now feeling anxious and upset. These waves hit us and we have to someone get over it.
Maybe its the time if the year my 1st without him or other factors but be sure that it will always lie under the surface waiting to come back. Healing will rake time nothing ever will be the same. New existence new life new year 
Sending everyone hugs
Lynne Xxxxx
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14 months for me and just when I thought I was starting to cope just a little bit, bang, along comes Xmas ‘‘again’’. 2 days to Xmas and it has hit me all over again. God, what an awful life. Hope 2024 is better. Never went anywhere and did nothing in 2023, couldn’t be bothered. But, stiff upper lip and all that.
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Hi @Jiml
I know for me just 7 months since he passed.
Was doing ok or so i thought then mum who has dementia had to go into care home this week after bad fall and my husbands friend also passed away suddenly at 66 funeral this week.
Then Christmas is coming too last Christmas was in Australia together with family. This year facing the day alone with just thoughts and memories.
Hope next year 2024 gets better.
Lynne
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To all thanks for getting in touch. We all seem to have had similar experiences. I’m sure we will all get through this in our own way and time. Here’s looking to a positive future for us all.
Brian
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Too true we can only look to the future now keeping the memories of our loved ones 
in our hearts and try and do our best to get through days ahead.
Wishing everyone the best for Christmas 
whatever you are doing on the day
Lynne
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16 months on Christmas Day since husband died. Didnt cope 2022 until summer 2023 then a few months felt less anxious and frightened. Sadly brothers wife died suddenly in september Finding things hard again now as always spent Christmas with them. This year have been invited to join a friend and her family for meal. Will Go but spend rest of festive season on own hibernating. Best wishes to all Take care
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Yes everything happened this year.
My husband suddenly then my having to go into long term care this week and also the funeral of a friend of my husband suddenly too.
Christmas and New Year happening and last year we were in Australia together with family this year so different.
I am just taking one day at at time.
Was going to go to Edinburgh to go around winter wonderland but the weather is too windy raining and cold might go after boxing day weather depends.
Lynne Xx
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I take one day at a time too as never know whether will feel able to go out or need to stay at home. Weather here in Fife is the same as yours suited to hibernation !!! Hope you can visit winter wonderland soon. Take care x
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@Pakapa @Galaxy75
This week has been a challenging few days & the thought of hibernating sounds good to me.
I’ve agreed to go out for tea with my son & his three - can’t say I’m looking forward to putting on my ‘I’m ok face’ 
. Supposed to then go back to his house for a movie - I’ve already dropped off popcorn & sweets but I’m not sure I can do movie night 
. I’m spending tomorrow with the 
- I don’t need to pretend for her . I hope everyone finds some peace
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Hi @Malteser
You too have a nice day tomorrow.
Weather here is windy and wet so not going out weather.
My mum just went into care home this week after 2 weeks in hospital after fall outside. So will visit her tomorrow and then stay at home and watch some TV with some turkey for lunch.
Got a turkey to cook for 4 people so will be eating various turkey dishes for a week.
Lynne Xx
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I must admit I never expected this crushing wave of sadness 1 year on, the tears seem never ending.
Someone once said to me, you’ll never get over it but learn to live alongside of it, and it’s probably true.
Thinking of you.
For me its certain times of the year for me but it can also catch you off guard sometimes. Yes it never goes away you jist learn to cope with it.
Sending hugs
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Hi @Brian345
Yes the grief never goes away.
And just when you think your doing well the wave of grief returns.
7 months into this new life its just survival now one day good other not so good.
Just go with the flow most days
Lynne
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Lynne
Thats the way to get through it and be kind to yourself
Brian
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