Just wish

Just wish i could ring my Dad . Just wish he was still here.Then i think how can losing my Dad change my whole life… its like the person who was always there for me has gone. I was angry other day :unamused: just felt abandoned and why did he go.


Hi Oreotrio,

It is very early days and natural to miss your dad. It will be three months on 15th Feb since I lost my dad and the void that has been left is indescribable. I miss him all the time.

I used to speak to my dad several times a day and I would see him at least a couple of times a day too. He is ingrained in every aspect of my life and now everything is a reminder that he’s no longer here and that I can’t talk to him. It’s very difficult.

You are not alone.

Sending love.

Thats why it hurts so much because was so close and spent so much time together. Whereas my brother said it properly hit him birthday , xmas as thats only time really saw him. Feel like need to rebuild my whole life . Feel lost . Who i am… my other brother busy sorting funeral his house etc . That makes me sad , seeing my brother car at my dads. Another reminded hes not there anymore. :pensive:

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Do you feel more stable 3 months on?

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Hi Oreotrio,

I understand. My brother lives abroad so he probably saw my dad a couple of times a year (sadly less during last few years with COVID). They would speak on the phone maybe every other week but this is very different to the relationship I had with my dad.

I live less than a 10 minute drive from my parents house and I would see them before work, after work and in the evenings they would call at my house for a coffee. The three of us (mum, dad and I) were like best friends specifically my dad and I. As I got older I enjoyed spending my free time with them and would go on holidays with them and I could talk to my dad about anything and he understood me. I was really happy during these years and I loved my life.

The counsellor that I have been talking to said that grief varies depending on your relationship with that person and if you are particularly close to them then the grief will likely be more intense. I am grateful that I was so close with my dad and that I was able to care for him in his final weeks and I think this grief is just another expression of love.

I understand feeling lost. Losing dad has changed me forever, I also don’t know who I am anymore and things that used to be important have lost meaning. I think this is a normal reaction to losing a parent who has always been there and who has been so influential in our lives. Things will be different moving forwards but I am told I will learn to adapt (as difficult as this seems).

In terms of how I feel three months on, it very much varies from day to day. I have an underlying sadness and longing for my dad, when I’m busy and distracted this sometimes doesn’t feel as bad as when it’s quiet at night. I have been told that grief comes in waves and one moment it can feel calm and then something can make me think of dad and it’s upsetting. I am learning to just accept how I feel and I am keeping busy like my dad told me.

When I described how I feel to a friend they said that they couldn’t understand it because they had never had a good relationship with their own father. They told me that I am privileged to have experienced this kind of love as it is fulfilling beyond words. If I feel sad I try to think of it that way, the love never dies.

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Hi, i am so sorry for your loss, it sounds like you had a wonderful relationship with your dad something to truly cherish xxx I lost my mum nearly 7 months ago very suddenly and unexpectedly she had a heart attack right in front of me, she was only 59. I am still haunted by the fact i had to do CPR on my own mum. Some days i am sad, some days i am numb and some days i am angry. I to wish i could just call my mum ask her how her day is going or hesr her tell me she loves me at the end of the pgone call and there has been a few times i forgot i can’t and i have tried… We were the same it was just me, my mum and dad the 3 musketeers until my daughter arrived and it brought us even closer together. We were all so close i would see my mum wveryday and ring her about 10 times a day. I know this journey of grief is different for everyone and its a rollercoaster but its noce to know you are not alone in what you are feeling.
Stay strong your dad would be proud of you xxx