I lost my lovely husband of 45 years at end of May, he had suffered from bowel cancer and decided as it was too late for surgery because of his heart failure that he just wanted to die, he was 83 and said he had had a good life and was ready to go. I was with him to the end and held him while he passed but I am really struggling now with the loneliness. I am 10 years younger than him and finding the strength to go on without him is so hard, I put on a brave face but inside it hurts so much. People keep telling me to move on but it’s so hard. How do other people cope.

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I love your name
You sound a very determined person
Witnessing the passing of your loved one is both a privilege and an enormous sorrow
That final moment never leaves us as we relive it and just wish for more time even if as you say life had become too difficult for our loved one
The pain of being alone is impossible to describe
It is always there, every morning when we wake until we finally fall asleep. Alone
Thinking about you
You are never fully alone as we are all out here

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Thank you for replying. It’s nice to know other people know how I feel. The days just seem so long and as we had moved to a flat for my husbands safety I just don’t have the garden anymore to help with the loneliness…

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I lost my wife last Sunday I know how you are feel x


So sorry to hear about your wife

It is very early days so emotions are raw and all over the place

You’ve done well to post on here
You will find a lot of help here from fellow travellers in the journey none of us want to take

When you are ready talk to us

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Thanks I just don’t know what to say xx

Then just wait and read all our posts so you know you are not alone
Take care
We are all here for you but the first few weeks are so tough, unreal and a rollercoaster.
Hang on


I’m so sorry mate. This is so recent for you. My partners been gone a year this month. Dont know where the times gone. I’ve been posting on this site more or less ever since. Sometimes just what I’m thinking because I need a kind word from someone. Everyone on here understands.

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Thankyou she only died last Sunday I am just lost never felt like this she was only66

My Jo was 65. I know exactly what you’re saying there’s a huge whole in our lives now that I for one will never really get over. There’s times when I think after all this time I’m coming to terms with it and then someting happens and I feel like I’m back to square one. I will tell you that the pain never goes away but over time the gaps in between the bouts of sadness get bigger so while at the moment you’ll be permanently sad it will get a little better in time.

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The pain is so raw, some days I think I am dealing with it and then it just takes one comment or something to reduce me to tears again. I miss him so much it hurts. I had to register his death on our 45th wedding anniversary so that memory will never be the same again. I suppose we will eventually learn to accept they have gone but gosh doesn’t it hurt.

Yes I’m afraid it does. Don’t think I’ve ever felt such sadness.