It was recently the 1st anniversary of my Dads passing. I was his only child, the only person that truly cared about him and knew him. I cut his siblings off, who were horrid and disrespectful to both him and I, after his memorial. Yesterday I received what I can only describe as an emotional blackmail Christmas card from one of them. It basically states I have failed my Dad’s legacy of kindness because I cut them off. This is laughable since they’ve never shown me an ounce of kindness during my 40 years on this Earth and always took advantage of my Dad. However this has triggered unpleasant memories and has made me upset and angry. I really want to give my Dad’s siblings a piece of my mind…but I know this card was sent deliberately to provoke a response. As hard as it is I’m thinking no response is best? There’s some power in silence maybe. Any kind advice appreciated. I hate the way these people make me feel
Eponine, I am so sorry that your dad died. It is a loss like no other, especially for a Daddy’s Girl.
The nasty Christmas card just proves that you were correct in cutting these folks off.
Did you actually tell them that you want no part of them? Not sure I understand what unkindness you allegedly showed to them. No more money?
I would want to give the card sender a piece of my mind too. But, silence is better. You’ve cut them off, so no need for any back and forth, tit-for-tat response. This person wants you to react, you are correct there. Don’t bite at that bait, just throw the card away, in pieces, and forget it and them and all the unpleasant memories.
They don’t exist.
Much love.
@PeachesDixon Thank you so much - that’s exactly how I felt. I suppose I just wanted to vent my anger a bit and get some reassurance, which you have kindly provided, thank you. You’re absolutely right that this confirms (not that I really needed confirmation, I’ve been dealing with their emotional abuse for years) how awful these people are and that I am right to close the door on them. We all want to be surrounded by people that support us and enhance our lives, don’t we? I hope you are keeping well and everything with you is as stress free as can be xx
Silence is best. They are spoiling for a fight.,Rise above it. Put the card in the bin and forget them. Concentrate on memories of happy times with your dad. It’s their issue not yours.
Amen, Cookie.
A dearly departed friend of mine, a Social Worker with a Master’s Degree, gave me the best life advice I have ever heard. Here it is:
The secret to happiness is to be with people you really like who also really like you.
So simple.
I agree. You owe them nothing and they need to effect their own piece of mind and hasselling you is not the way to achieve this! Do as PeachesDixon says - rip up and throw away the card. x