When my wife died 9 weeks ago after a year long brutal bladder cancer I made her many promises.
On Monday I leave Blyth in Northumberland and travel 7.45hours North to the Isle of Skye , she loved “ Outlander” and wanted to sing the Skye boat song while crossing the bridge to Skye . We had it planned for her 50th but didn’t make it and had to cancel it .
On our first wedding anniversary she gave me a wee bottle with scrolls inside and some sand which were our wedding vows and the sand from the beach where our wedding was in South Shields , just the day before she died I cut some hair locks one of them I put in the same bottle .
I’m going to travel to Skye , sing that song and bury that bottle on the island on Monday . It’s gonna be a mammoth journey but I just have to do it , I promised her .
I can’t wait but it will be emotional when I see the bridge .
Have you done anything to keep a promise to a lost spouse.?
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I get you on the heartbreaking journey. Mine is so long folk will think I’m mad but I’m doing it no matter what as I’m keeping all the promises I made , I’ve done a few already , making our stepsons room a room to be proud of, make our house better and decorated throughout .
Visit our families in Coventry and Rugby , stay close to our amazing friends and accept help .
I promised to visit some of the places we dreamed of , this is the first .
You and I will have tonnes of tears doing this , it’s gonna be emotional.
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My husband also died of cancer in sept. He left notes for everything, what he wanted at his funeral, where he wanted his ashes scattered. We scattered them at the Lake District in may on his birthday at a place we loved visiting and spent many happy times.
The only thing I haven’t done yet is plant a tree which we wanted. I know you can plant them with the national trust but I want to do one where you can put a plaque in memory. Still looking for somewhere to do that.
Good luck with your journey. It is a long way but it will be worth it to fulfil your promise xx
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Thank you Barbara, I set off at 4am and hope to reach the bridge by 12pm , lunch a wee look around , bury her loc of hair and then back to Glasgow to stay overnight then home on the Tuesday.
The weather is looking awful
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Before my wife got sick we took our 2 grandsons to disney land Paris. And while there she promised them we would take them to disney world florida
but then she got sick I kept her promise to the boys and we spent last xmass in disney world .it was wonderful and sad at the same time but a promise is a promise…
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I got there , 7 hours it took but so worth it , very emotional day
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I’m keeping my husband Stuart wishes on the 13 th of this month our children and myself will be letting g him go free in Folkestone kent where he loved to spend time with the kids and fish we have hired a fishing boat I’m looking forward to it but also dreading it as it’s the final goodbye but I know I can go to the beach anytime to talk to him x
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I do everything every day for a promise my beautiful husband made me say. I live my life by his ideals and beliefs it keeps me strong
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Hi Glenn I think I told you that I lost my darling wife Judith to bladder cancer almost a year ago,I am still grieving and it still hurts.Watching her in so much pain has haunted me ever since.All the drugs did not help her,you name it she had it lots of it.I am traumatised even now for what I saw my wife go through all because of that awful disease.I still have her ashes with me ,I am unable to part with them at the momnet even though I know she wanted them scattered at one of her favourite places,as I say I am not ready to part with her. Love Michael x
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Hi I love that idea ,where did you get it done and how much was it.I think I might go down that route. Michael x
That’s where my husband’s ashes are scattered, couple weeks ago went back to the beach where he is and where I’m going to join him when it’s my time.
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Hi Debbie I noticed on one of your posts you said a funeral directors in Kettering done a bereavement group did you contact them and if you did was they any help only I can’t find anything nearer me I live in same town as you and theres just nothing been to mind in Rushden had some counselling there but would like to find a group of people in same boat as they understand more what we are going though.
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Hi Misprint,
It’s at Averill Phillips Funeral Directors in Kettering opposite the old bus station, the last Thursday of every month 7pm to 9pm.
I went in June, couldn’t go last month as on holiday with my daughter and family. It is run by a counselor and is more a support group than a social group.
I do hope to go this month my daughter is coming with me this time.
I wasn’t sure it was what I was looking for felt very drained for days after but I said I would give it a second go.
I’ve just finished silver cloud through talking therapies Northamptonshire, and am waiting for Cruse counseling to begin these both directed to by my GP.
I’ve put a link below to Averill Phillips
https://www.averilphillips.co.uk/
Debbie X
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Thank you Debbie I will have a look xx
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