I am concerned about being a nuisance to my friends. I’d contact them more when I feel lonely but don’t want them to get fed up with me. How do you get the balance right? After 2.5 years,I should be tougher than this!
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Hi Blue7, I understand how you feel though I haven’t really got any good friends the few people I speak to are family but I often don’t call because I don’t want to be a nuisance. I think it’s a problem we all find difficulty with. We are all terribly lonely but also not sure we aren’t annoying to others. Plus the loneliness isn’t really resolved by being with people.
Have you tried bereavement group, I go to one and at least the people understand you. There are I believe a lot of groups in England even some that do activities like walking etc
Wishing you all the best
Tom
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Hi I’m 2and a half years in now and feel like I’m struggling more than ever. I’ve also had great support but feel like people have now just assumed I’m ok and over the worse. In fact I feel the opposite I feel ive been on auto pilot and now the fog is lifting the reality has hit me! Friends and family are all getting on with life and I hate to say it I’m jealous. I’ve not enjoyed this weekend at all my family all had plans I wasn’t included in on Sunday which would have been fine if my husband was around we’d just of made our own but sadly it just meant I’ve spent the day alone.
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Hi mwsszd, I’m sorry to hear that you are finding it difficult at the moment. My wife died on Christmas day and I’m still finding it difficult to cope with but I don’t think that time is the solution either. I think we all have to come to terms with our new situation and become new people. The situation is not going to change, we have to. That is why I think it’s important to look for help to talk through all these things. Apart from that being able to talk to people who understand your situation is also a great help and there are a lot of bereavement groups around and this site is full of people unfortunately who are just like us. All trying to survive this painful situation we find ourselves in. I hope you can find some solace here being able express yourself without having to worry about upsetting anyone.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
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I do think you’re right you can only talk about it for so long to people who have never been here. I do talk though I’m part of a widows/ widowers walkIng group. I think this long weekend has just been particularly difficult I’m normally quite a positive person but appreciate your response when I needed to just have people around me who understand.
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I glad to hear you are feeling better today. I hope you have a lovely day
Wishing you all the best
Tom 
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