Lack of Support

My Dad died last Sunday and i found out whilst on holiday in Spain.
My husbands first words of comfort were " Try not to dwell on it "
If he does ask how i am and i reply " How do you think i am " in ends in an argument with " If that’s what your gonna be like i wont bother aaking "
He hear him telling people of my Dads passing with the comment " It is what it is".
I have taken to crying in the shower as i don’t want to cause an argument.
He carries on his life as normal.
What have i done that is so wrong?
All i want is for him to ask " Can he help with anything,im here for you".
I can’t talk to him about this as he just flares up and makes out its my fault.
I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you

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I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Has your husband lost his parents? I ask because if he hasn’t then he perhaps hasn’t experience the pain you are going through and just doesn’t know how to handle it? If he has perhaps he is struggling with memories/grief he has felt previously?
My Dad passed away last year and sometimes my husband reminds me his Mum also passed away and makes out it is some kind of grief competition…not helpful or sensitive.
I think coming to a forum like this where you can share and find like minded people here will hopefully bring you some comfort but I appreciate the upset of someone you love struggling to support

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