Laid FiL to rest yesterday- Whats next?

My FiL`s funeral was yesterday.

It was wonderful. At once sad, loving, heartfelt and some of the littles stories were quite entertaining too, and captured his essence so well.

Now the no mans land between his passing and the “final” goodbye is over, what can I expect? The 1sts ie 1st birthday, first xmas etc obviously, but what then?

Is it just waiting for the next milestone to mark? Will we live in a constant state of being lost, bereft each night unable to sleep?


Hello @ms81,

I’m so sorry to hear about your father-in-law. It sounds as though things are very difficult at the moment.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you right now.

Take care - keep reaching out,


1 Like

@ms81 Sorry you’re going thru this. I found after my Dad’s funeral in April, I felt worse. I’m sure many people on here will share the view that the funeral was something to focus on & then came the notion of: So now what? Everyone gets on with their lives and you’re in this bubble bouncing amongst them. There are the series of firsts to muddle thru, each one bringing its own issues & heartache. You just have to hope that it does get easier. I’m 20 weeks in to this journey & some days really are worse than others. Unexpected reminders can be good & bad. Having distractions helps too. Also talking about him is important. I know some people find that difficult. You just have to take things one teeny step at a time. X


Thank you so much Cee, I have made a point of speaking to him even though I don`t necessarily “believe” in all that, its comforting. One great thing to come out of this is to get closer to family.


The 22nd was my FiL`s Birthday and fittingly his ashes were spread by his 3 children at his local miniature steam track.

Ever since then, the emptiness as been increasingly present our world. Very tough for us.

1 Like

@ms81 I can understand that. You go thru all these things after a loved one has passed but they’re still gone. The emptiness of that loss is deafening.

1 Like

Thank you, Cee. Yes it certainly is very lonely. My wife was saying that she isn`t looking forward to her birthday because her dad would call and sing happy birthday every year. :frowning:

@ms81 I was the same, as Dad died just weeks before my own Birthday & always made a fuss. He also shared his own Birthday with my brother & he didn’t want reminding, but we tried to make the best of it. I bought 2 Costa coffees & we toasted him. Perhaps you could incorporate your own unique way of remembering him on her Birthday. Best wishes

1 Like