Hi all I am.new to the group. My darling husband died 3 weeks ago today. G4 gliobastoma just 8 weeks from diagnosis so still in shock. He was only 50 and we’ve been together 20 years I was his carer and he died at home. Well.Monday we bury him I’ve not coped very well so far and today I feel like I can’t bare the thought of another goodbye. It’s been mentally exhausting to get to this day and in honesty I am terrified of him being in.the ground where I can’t touch him anymore. Went to visit at the funeral chapel held his hand stroked his hair it helped at the time but went into meltdown next day. Actually physically went into the shakes today. This is not me! People have always told me I am strong person now I shudder at the very word. Does it give you any peace after even.for a short time ? I feel horribly unpredictable at the moment so not looking forward to seeing old friends x
Hi Kirkat, like you we had to wait 4 weeks for Ted’s funeral. I was a carer for my husband for 10 years after he had a stroke during an op to remove a brain tumour. There is a finality to the funeral and no one knows how they will be during it. There was a photo of ted up on a screen during it but I could not look at it because I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep things together. I have Ted’s ashes here with me and I say good night and good morning to him every day. Might seem odd but I get some comfort from it but also cry. I didn’t see Ted at the funeral directors. He died at home and I said my goodbyes in familiar surroundings.
Hope all goes well for you and your family on Monday. Jean x
how could you expect yourself to be normal at the worst time in your life? 
I am so sorry for your loss.
Everything you are feeling is normal, it is very very hard. You are numb and in shock for a long time, it all seems unreal like a nightmare. But you will cope and gradually get stronger.
Your husband’s love and memory is in your heart, part of you always.
Hello - I am so very sorry to hear about your loss, it’s devastating to lose someone to glioblastoma. My partner died from it about ten years ago. It’s just dreadful seeing it happen to your partner. My partner lived 6 months from the diagnosis. I felt absolutely exhausted by the time he died and hated that I couldn’t do anything to stop it happening. Like you, I loved my partner. On top of the funeral there is the fact that suddenly all the time that is available, as things go quiet after the funeral and admin stuff. There is no way round the pain and grief but it does, honestly, get better with time. At some point I came to accept what I couldn’t change. I got counselling and talked about it all. That helped a bit. Nowadays I can think of him as he was, before the tumour. When he comes into my mind I might just have a nice, happy memory of something and if I remember his illness I am able to shed a tear and then get on with my life. This is a really hard and painful time for you, you aren’t alone, you can come on here and you will get listened to and supported. I send you all my best that you find some peace. Keep posting xxxx