I’ve just joined this forum.
I lost someone who was like a 2nd mum to me. She was a part of my life for over 30 years. Her daughter and I were best friends as children.
She died at the beginning of 2023 and I last saw her in hospital. Cancer having took a hold stronger than her last cancer diagnosis. I wish I hugged her longer. My last words were “love you” and as always her response was “love you too sweet” writing this I can hear her voice. She’s in my thoughts always and miss her very much. Since her passing nothing is the same. Life becoming that much harder. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve gone to ring or WhatsApp her. She was always my go to. The other day I heard the well-known saying…the one where it says ‘If love could have saved you’.
Now I’m trying to cope (but failing) with the possibility of my mum’s cancer coming back and it scares me that in this big world if anything similar was to happen I would be alone. Inside I’m breaking and feel so lost.
@MuddledMind8T5 I’m so sorry to read of the situation you find yourself in, sadly, I feel rather inadequate in that there’s little in the way of comfort or advice that I can offer, other than to say, don’t feel guilty about how you feel or whether you’re coping. If people don’t understand how your grief is affecting you, that’s their problem, not yours.
Be kind to yourself, by which I mean, don’t beat yourself up over things that you can’t change. Take each day as it comes, the hole left by the loss of someone so special to you will never be filled but with time the pain of her passing will lessen.
I continued to What’s App my late wife for months after her death, I found comfort in it. I knew she got the texts, because her phone was next to me - but there was never a reply…
What I’d have given for that.
I do hope that you will find solace in your grief.
Firstly, I’m so sorry to read about your wife’s passing.
Secondly, thank you so much for your reply. Never see yourself as inadequate. Your words, although sad are so very relatable and your reply meant a lot.
It was her birthday recently and sent her a message on WhatsApp and let a balloon off. No blue ticks as yet. I know I marked the day and always will.
I find myself wishing she could come back but then again I saw just how quick and ill she was. Deep down I know she held on for as long as she could. I guess I always thought she would be there. Beat it and once again be in remission.
I also try to see if that I’ve my memories and no one can take them away. There should have been more but the ones I have will always be treasured.
I too wish the reply but a poem I wrote for my mum using words I know she would want to say and it references a star in the dark sky. I look for that star each night.