Leading 2 lives and its draining

Lost my husband of 41 years suddenly because of Lockdown restrictions, so he was unable to access proper medical care…(don’t get me started)!
Does anyone else feel as though your brain is carrying on as normal… Meeting friends… Keeping goiing…ljist ike you were before, then as soon as you are on your own, the heavens open?


I feel exactly the same I lost my mum in December. I put on a brave face when I see family and friends but inside my heart is breaking and when I’m home I just cry and feel really down. I still think I haven’t really greaved yet that it’s not hit me properly. Feel like I have a wall what needs to be broken down.

Exactly the same it’s a face we put on I have 2 children and 2 granddaughters one 11 and my other ones 21 my older one doesn’t understand so I keep it in till they go home lv x

So very sorry to hear that you lost your Mum so recently, so everything must feel very raw…
And yes, you put on a brave face because you dont want to bring people down.
It is very hard.
Like living in 2 different worlds.
I think it is natural to have built up a wall around you…
I dont think we can control grief though…you just have to take each day as it comes very slowly.
(a cliche I know)!
Thank you for replying to my post…

So very true indeed…it is a ‘face we put on’…a kind of mask that we wear.
My niece is 21 too, and full of hopes and dreams for her future, so I get caught up in all that which I am glad about…like your grandaughter, she doesn’t understand, and I dont expect her to, like I dont expect alot of my friends and family to understand if they haven’t gone through the loss of a dearly loved one themselves, so I too wait until I am on my own before the mask is removed!
Thank you for replying to my post.

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