Hello Anny,
Sorry you are going through this…my husband died whilst he was away in Greece in September…so I know how difficult it is dealing with foreign bureaucracy…have you got a contact at the British consulate in Jamaica? I found the consulate in Athens have helped with some aspects of the legal procedures. I know how soul crushing all this is on top of grief…I keep going by telling myself that one day that side of it will be resolved. I have had to train myself to be patient as I was driving myself mad trying to force things…wheels turn slowly overseas don’t they. Anyway, I just want you to know that you’re not going through this alone…I hope you get some progress soon x
Hello D
Thank you for replying, I am in contact with Jamaica too, but no further forward eight months on, hope we both get things sorted soon, sorry for you loss it’s so hard isn’t it xx
No Annie not yet - but she is with the new boyfriend - but these days you are not allowed to call them boyfriends . So she is with the person she has been dating for the last three months! Went to lunch with his parents but he is driving so it is more about her journey home that bothers me as this weather is still not good ! Over anxious parent would you know !!
Yes…some days it seems impossible, but I keep pushing forward…tiny steps, I try to do one positive thing each day…but today has been hard. Sunday’s seem to be my down days, and today’s weather has made me very lonely. Today’s positive step has been to join WAY…I need to meet more people locally who understand this situation…my friends are amazing, but there are times they need their own space. So I hope to meet some people who can spend some sunday times having a coffee or something to stop the loneliness.
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Hi Trisha
It’s always stressful when our children no matter what age, and we are waiting for them to come home, bless you xx
Hi D
I hate sundays as Chris died on a Sunday, which before he passed was our favourite day together, enjoying life etc
Xx
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Is it an inquest you’re waiting on? 8 months seems a long time…
Hi D
No , because he died of a sudden death they do toxicology in Jamaica as a routine, but this can take 6/9 months for results then you have to wait for them to apply for a death certificate it’s a joke
X
I have that same dread of Friday and Saturday, a whole 24 hours of such great distress. Friday comes and my stomach flips. Saturday arrives and I cry. I cry almost constantly. Anything and nothing, and I cry. I’m trying, but it is so hard x
Poor you…stuck in limbo waiting. I have had to wait for an investigation file to be compiled, now that’s done it has to go to the chief prosecutor to his verdict…that may involve further criminal prosecution, or case closure…they won’t release the file to me without Greek lawyers though…and then, after all that…the UK coroner want to do an inquest here too…it’s seemingly never ending. My husband died in a diving incident…he didn’t deserve all this hassle bless him x
Rachyrach
Yes it hard, but we are all trying to deal with similar emotions and events in our lives, not sure how we manage but we will as what else can we do, but live our life trying to live for our other half’s, bless you xx
Hi D
So sorry for you it’s so stressful, my Chris would have not wanted to cause all this heartbreak, but bless him we can’t predict the future xx
Well, I’m going to have a gin and tonic…and raise a glass to all of us trying to make this life alone a life worth living xxx big hugs
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D
Have one for me, goodnight xx
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Goodnight everyone x
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Goodnight x
Cheers, Liz,
I cannot drink alcohol, it could kill me, all this because of porphyria. I haven’t touched a drop for nearly 25 years, I can’t even have sherry trifle, now that is what you call deprivation
Dear ladies. Valentine’s day tomorrow and my husband has been gone since last April so another first without him.We used to enjoy the M&S Valentine meal deal.Always good and a lovely evening in.I also grew up with him .Married for just over 40yrs together for 47. I miss him terribly but pat myself on the back for coping reasonably well. I’m retiring in April , and have a new grandchild to look forward to in June.I have 2 amazing sons and 3 beautiful grandchildren.But as you all say it doesn’t take away the loneliness you feel at times. I feel his here with me all the time and also chat to his photo at times.Its just comforting. I just say to myself how lucky I was to have had him for those precious years. And love looking back at the memories. He comes to me in dreams sometimes. Always looking younger,smart & well .And happy for me. Love to you all Jeanette.
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Hello Trisha… your message could have been written by me. I was married for 46 years, knew my husband for over 50. We also had a flat overlooking the sea in a bay although we only moved here in October 2017. He was fit and well and we were looking forward to a change of pace in our lives. He developed back ache after 6 months and after several physio sessions was found to have cancer that had travelled and had reached his spine, and only 5 weeks later he died.
I have made a new life of sorts for myself here… I try to keep busy but like you, after a lifetime of sharing everything with him I am struggling and look to the future with a certain amount of dread. To live alone now is the hardest thing I have ever had to do as well. Yes, so grateful that we had each other for such a long time, lucky that we did not wait until retirement to do the things we wanted in life but sad that we didn’t have a few extra years.
I hope you have some support from friends and family… we never had children and neither of us have much in the way of family so friends old and new have become the most important element in my life. I wish you luck for the future, I guess we have to make every day count as what has happened makes you realise how precious time is. x
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I am coming closer to six years trying to learn the new normal and still haven’t found out how to but I will keep trying because there’s no other way. I am here reasonably fit and healthy but on my own. Do I want another man? No because he was and still my soul mate. Take care.
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