Today I read a quote in a book I’m reading. I’m not religious, but this resonated with me and I found it strangely helpful…so I thought I share on here. It is from The Buddha…who said “It is your resistance to what is that causes your suffering”. Apart from the obvious it hit me because one of my Sandie’s favourite mantras was “…let it go…”. Reality hit me…the only way forward is to stop resisting…however hard that may be…I have to try…what is is what is…can’t change it. I took this as a message…hope it helps others 
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I have wallowed. For the 100 days since he died, I have allowed myself to sink into this sadness, and I haven’t resisted.
My Dad died when I was 18, then I had absolutely no support and I did the stiff upper lip thing for 2 years, until I could function again.
This time I’ve cried, been alone, been with friends, done anything I felt I wanted to. It seems to have worked, fingers crossed.
I don’t know what the future holds but I am now feeling positive.
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Thankyou for this 
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@UnityMan i think you are absolutely right, you have to “let it go” i did not long after my husband died which was just over 2 yrs ago, no amount of crying etc is going to bring them back. at that moment your life changed and you have to change with it. I am of the old school and have got on with it and have done it with NO support whatsoever from anyone. wallowing, as someone on this thread said, wont do you any good at all, it just makes things worse.
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@SueF1 exactly the same here for me too…nothing is going to bring him back so I have to just get on with life and make the most of it. No amount of wishing, sobbing, sadness, is going to change a thing other than keep you trapped in constant misery, wanting something you can no longer have. It’s like a repeat record but only yourself can change the tune
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I am so pleased for you xx