It’s been ten months and I haven’t touché my husband things. They are all in our old bedroom. I am still sleeping downstairs X
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Mel it’s been ten months for me also and although I have always slept in our bed, the bed he died in I have not touched any of his stuff. When I take my coat of the hooks in the porch his jackets always falls down - like it always did. He clothes are clean and hanging in his wardrobe as well as his personal stuff in the beside drawers. I will get rid to it but at the moment it gives me comfort to see his stuff, the little notes he left on the fridge and his mug with “best grandad in the world” in the cupboard.
I am hoping I’ll know when the time is right but at the moment his stuff is keeping me company. I’ll think about it more in a couple of months when I pass the first anniversary of losing him.
Georgina
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Hi Stewin. Sorry for your loss.
I lost my partner in November 2021 and I feel just like you, Petes clothes are just where he left them and I feel very bad about moving them, I’ve started wearing some of his t-shirts and now use his dressing gown, the other day the coat hanger in our hall fell off the wall which really upset me so I took Petes coats off and put them on a different hanger.
His slippers were on the shoe rack and they are falling apart so I threw them in the bin but I feel horrible throwing out anything belonging to him and have had to stop myself bringing them back in.
People tell me I’ll know when the time is right but I can’t imagine the time will ever be right.
Muldool
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Know exactly how you feel lost my wife last May 2021. Cannot part with anything dressing gown behind bedroom door,her ashes beside our bed.its hard.K1147
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Hiya Keith have johns slippers and dressing gown beside bed and have his ashes in living room I like him being close to me lv annie x x
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Thanks Annie,reading some of these messages we are not alone.
Love,
Keith
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I’m exactly the same all my husbands clothes and everything just how he left them,it’s been 22 weeks since he passed away and I find every day torture,don’t know how we can all get through the pain of grief,miss him so much
Take care Keith
Christine x
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Hi Keith it’s so tough isn’t it ? My son said yesterday “mum you cannot keep dads ashes on his bedside cabinet forever”. I know I can’t but he’s there with a photo of the grandkids and this summer I plan to do some work on the garden and shall get a lovely bench and put him there. There’s no hurry he can stay where he is until I am ready.
Big hugs from me
Georgina
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Exactly john ashes will be there until I die lv annie x x
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Thanks Georgina,glad I’m not the only one who feels like they are going mad.
Keith
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I agree john ashes are here on my sideboard when I go we will be scattered together lv annie x x
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Hey hi you are so right. I’ve be happy for them to stay where they are but I bit in limbo at the moment. My husband wanted to be laid to rest local to where we live - only because he loved where we live and it was a conversation we had in passing along time ago. But on visiting the cemetery on two occasions they have nowhere suitable (not as far as I’m concerned anyway). To be honest I want him close to me not surrounded by strangers. My boys have agreed to disagree on this one and have left it to me to decide. He loved our garden so much and worked so hard on it so I may decide to put him there. No yet though as I’m quite happy to be able to say goodnight to him and tell him about my day.
Thank you all for your understanding and support.
Georgina
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Stewin
You are definitely not being disrespectful of Sandra by disposing of her clothes.
It will initially feel disrespectful, but if you feel Sandra would be nagging at you to get rid of them, it probably is time to do that. These are material items that perhaps a charity will willingly take and will find a new home.
The memories of Sandra and the times you shared are locked safely in your heart and memory and those are the things you will really want to hold onto.
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You do what’s right for you john wanted just to come home that’s what a did he’s in his own home lv annie x x
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I too am having to sort clothing and personal items, so far I have put every day clothing into suitcases as will be donating to Salvation army, could not use black back as I see that as throwing away, so use suitcases, they are still at present sitting in spare bedroom. Will wait for sunny day to walk out of house with his cases as though I will be dropping off clothing for holiday. That’s just my way of coping x
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As many have said, there is no right or wrong. Our son raises the issue of disposing of his dad’s clothes occasionally but I have told him they will stay until I am ready and if that’s when I am gone so be it. Its approaching 18 months since husband died, but everything remains where he left them apart from anything associated with the motorbike.
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I too have not touched my husbands clothes and his ashes remain on his bedside cabinet beside a photo if our grandchildren. Obviously they won’t stay there forever and my youngest son has asked a couple of times what I’m going to do with them. I’ve been to the local cemetery twice but there are no suitable spaces available just plots relinquished by other families where ashes remain. It wasn’t for me to place him with strangers.
Anyway I like saying good night and telling him about my day and when the weather breaks a bit I plan to put him in the garden he loved 
it’s been 11 months since he died and once one year passes I shall have a rethink about his clothes.
Much love
Georgina
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Hi
My husband suddenly passed away just before New Year, but it seems longer than that. We had been married just over 40 years. It would have been our 41 anniversary later this month. It is hard. Everybody deals with grief in different ways. You have to do what is best for you. I have good days and bad days. It will take time I know. Not used to living on my own. Have good support for! family and friends helps.
Take care
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,do it when your ready my husband passed 15th ago I still have his ashes told my children when I die put us together a get comfort with his ashes being at home with me lv annie x
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That’s what I have told my family,I will keep my husbands ashes when I pass away I want them to scatter us together,I want to be with my husband forever
Take care
Christine x
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