Really warming to see an LGBT section of the site. I contributed a few posts around this time last year and certainly hope it helped a couple people in similar positions. It’s now coming up to my second Christmas after the loss of my partner. I have had several invitations to spend it with friends, but I have declined like the first year. Not because I want to spend Christmas Day grieving or moping about. It’s just more comfortable being able to decide exactly what you want to do with such a special day. Different things work for different people - some of us may need to be amongst family and friends if that’s possible. Last year I cooked a Christmas lunch
(albeit vegetarian…) and tried to recreate what was the norm. Ive never liked Christmas dinner but that’s besides the point…this year I’ve decided my Christmas dinner will consist of food that I like a lot but wouldn’t necessarily cook it in a normal week. And add in to that watching the stuff I want to or listening to the music I want to and if I choose to bury my face in a book then that’s ok too. It doesn’t mean I won’t be thinking about him, it’s just my way of coping. I just choose not to celebrate the festival in someone else’s house. I want my things ( and his ) around me. I guess what I’m trying to say is do whatever you feel you want or need to - and less of the shoulds or musts…having said all that if there anyone who needs to chat off-load or cry, scream and shout around this time then I’m happy to help with that. I’m not over his death. There’s not an hour where I don’t think about him, but it’s good to recognise what coping strategies you have available to you at this particular time of year and YOU are your own biggest strength. I hope everyone finds the Christmas they need…
Hi @Johnny1,
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community 
I’m sure your words will bring comfort to others.
We know that Christmas can be a very difficult time of year when we are grieving. We have an article on Coping with grief at Christmas which might be helpful.
Take good care,
Alex
The whole month of December is a bit of a nightmare for me, not only Christmas but birthday, anniversary, and he died in December as well. So I take myself off to a sunny Caribbean island, and far from being alone friends all come out and stay. This is my second year and it helps knowing I’m starting new ways of doing things.
Hi
My favourite is Antigua but my wife loved Jamaica so I’ve looked at both,sadly I’ve decided it may be a bit too soon for me to spend Xmas at either one but hopefully next year I will feel stronger and more up for it. Whichever Island you choose I hope you have a great time and an enjoyable Xmas. Good for you.