Life after death of mum

I lost my dad 9 years ago and recently on 4th Decembe 2020r I lost my mum we only found out end of Sept she had cancer to the bladder and lungs, I am trulyl lost with losing her how do I go on with out her, she was my world :sleepy::sleepy:

1 Like

You’ve taken a brave step reaching out for support @Mel21H. I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your parents. I can’t imagine the pain you’re feeling loosing your mum so suddenly last year. I wanted to let you know that we’re all thinking of you and you’re not alone. The community here is lovely, and anytime you want to reach out, we’ll always be here.

You mentioned that she was your world, it sounds like you were really close and she meant so much to you. For some people it can help posting here, do you want to tell us about some of your favourite memories together?

I’ve also linked another thread from another member here who has lost a parent which you might find helpful reading through - Loosing mum

Keep posting here whenever you need to, we’re here for you :yellow_heart:

Hello @Mel21H I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. I am in the same position as you. My mum was absolutely fine and after some pain in her right side, went to the doctors who thought it was her gallbladder. After tests she had her diagnosis of a rare cancer…of the bile ducts. Then 3 months later she was gone, 2nd March. Like you with your mum, my mum was my world…still is. It’s the worst pain imaginable isn’t it. My mum was only 70 but was so young looking and young at heart too. I never imagined she wouldn’t be here one day. I was lucky enough to have my grandparents until the ages of 96, 91, 85 and 79. My mum and all of us went to her sister’s funeral in September who passed away aged 90. Then 6 months later we were at my mum’s. I’m heartbroken, find each day so hard. I can imagine that you are feeling exactly the same. This is the first time I’ve written on here, hence the long message I guess. Please feel free to message me if you would like to, meanwhile please take as much care as you can. You have my sincerest sympathies. Xxx

Hi Alex29,
So sorry about your mum. I also lost my mum in March. She was fit and healthy but died in an accident, and I couldn’t get to her funeral because she died in Australia and I live in the UK.
Her loss has hit me hard. I’ve been wondering how anyone gets through this - how my parents got over the losses of their parents… There’s so much pain in the world. It’s overwhelming sometimes. Hope you’re OK.

I really feel your pain. My mums funeral was on the 23rd December. All I want to do is sleep, to cut my brain of from the harrowing time in hospital.

Hi @FelixtheCat, thank you. I am so very sorry to hear about your mum too. That is absolutely heartbreaking for you.
I completely get what you mean. I often think back to when my mum lost her parents and how she dealt with it. I guess it’s because she had us to get her through, whereas I don’t have my own family. Like you, I don’t know how I’ve got through each day and managed to live without her. But she is always with me, in my heart, my mind and my soul. I.hope you feel that about your mum too. Take care of yourself.

Hello @Nuthatch, oh my goodness, please accept my sincerest sympathies…I know how you are feeling, and is the worst pain imaginable. I have those days too. I think if you want to sleep, then sleep. You have to do whatever it takes to try to understand and yeah, sometimes forget, even just for a while. Please look after yourself.

1 Like

Thank you so much .
I have lodged a complaint with the hospital, heart broken to have seen her die in such pain and lingered for 15 days in hospital.
Thankfully I was with her at the end and I know that she knew that I was there :sweat:

Hi @Alex29,
I feel such similarities with you. My mum went out on the morning of 3 March 2020 and never came back from her accident outdoors (wasn’t discovered for 4 days). So, early March is always going to be a big anniversary of her loss, but the coroner can’t say which day she died.
I agree, our parents had their children to help them when they lost their parents. I don’t have children and I do worry about a whole lifetime of treasured memories and history not being passed on to anyone. I find that thought very difficult. No one will ever know what I know, or feel what I feel about her.
Like you, I feel really strongly that my mum lives in me now.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom suddenly on Jan 1,2021. And I am having a hard time of it, she was only 64 and thought if she could get some sleep she’s be fine but we had to call 911 because she fell and then found out at the Er that she had a heart attack. But I do have my last memory of my mom saying bye to me and that she loved me before they put her in the ambulance. This “new normal” without her just sucks!

This is the first time I’ve written on here, so apologies if it’s a long one. I just wanted to reach out and give my sympathy to you. My beautiful mum passed away of cancer of the bile duct also. She was diagnosed Christmas Day 2020 and grew her angel wings in April, only 4 months after diagnosis. When they found the cancer (they originally thought it was gallstones) it was so far advanced there was no treatment option but palliative care. It was the biggest shock she was so healthy prior!!
She put up the bravest and most courageous fight I’ve ever seen. My mum was my best friend, the other half of me, life isn’t the same without her. I don’t feel like me without her, the grief I feel is hard to face every day. The hurt and pain, I just can’t imagine my life without my mum. I’m only in my mid 20’s and mum had so much she wanted to live for and see.
It’s such a rare cancer you question why it had to take your family member

Hello @sophiew, I am so, so sorry to hear about your mum, your world, your best friend…just like mine was and still is to me. The way you describe how you’re feeling is exactly how I feel too. It is just the worst possible thing to have to go through. The dates of diagnosis and passing are so similar for us aren’t they. It is still a struggle every single day, I just try to remember how lucky we are to have had the most incredible mum and everything else she was and still is to everyone. Especially when I hear of others like you, who are so much younger than me. My mum was only 70 and such a young 70, so much life left to live. I miss her so much. Please look after yourself and again I am so sorry. Alex xx

1 Like