I lost my beloved a month ago well it will be on the 16th of March. I was thinking to myself ah this time last month it was his birthday but then I corrected myself as his birthday is actually February 14th and it was like he just reached that new age then died a month later I don’t understand. He was okay happy making plans this time 2 months ago. I’ve lost my concept of time. I feel like I’ve been mourning him for an extremely long time but it’s only been a month. I basically cried everyday and I’m realizing he literally passed a month ago. I feel like he’s left me for so long. Then I think ahead and I’m like I have all these years on earth without him. I really feel numb. The days drag but go fast at the same time. Summer is coming up and I can’t even imagine myself wanting to travel without him or doing anything exciting because now he’s not there for me to tell and show things to. I feel like I’m just existing. I still can’t grasp how one moment someone can be here the next moment they’re not. He said he can’t ever leave me and now he’s no longer here. I just feel so lost in space
@LQOL i too feel that time is weird. Every day seems interminably long yet a week has passed since my husband died. Like you the thought of all the years ahead alone fills me with dread. I can go through the motions but can i find any joy? In another post i talked about the power of ‘for now’ and i do try to practice this but it is hard. I am feeling this bad ‘for now’. It implies some hope. Take care. X
@ LQOL, I know exactly how you feel. I too dread all the years I will now have without my partner of 28 years. The thought of holidaying alone is just too much to bear, we did everything together. I too feel like it’s just and existence now despite having family and close friends around me it’s just not the same as having that special person alongside me. We knew each other so well and were such a good team and just understood each other. Unfortunately people who have not experienced the loss of their partner/husband/wife etc. really just don’t understand. I feel like half of me is missing. I am trying my best to carry on with this now very lonely life whilst thinking what is the point when I have no-one to do and share things with. I don’t think I’ll ever get over losing him. I know he wouldn’t have chosen to leave me when he did, I thought we had many more years left and we would grow old together. It just makes me very sad and angry and I’m wondering what I have done that is so wrong to deserve this. x
I’m very sorry for your loss🥺 I will read your forum as I feel like I understand
28 years 
this makes me realize no amount of time is ever enough to say goodbye.I’m Very sorry for your loss, I just want you to know you didn’t do anything to deserve it it’s not your fault, things that we can’t explain just happen. I hope you’re feel okay if it’s it’s a tincy tiny bit xx
I feel the same. It’s 7 weeks for me & I have literally locked up to come to bed & thought exactly the same as you , how can he be gone. The night before was a completely normal night , he got up as usual in the morning then I found him , it’s like how ??
I feel like he’s been gone forever but at the same time it feels like yesterday & still so surreal . I’ve had friends around tonight , nothing exciting we just sat and ‘ watched l’ tv but the whole time I am just sat thinking about my gorgeous husband being gone forever 
Sending big hugs xx
Time is really weird. Really sorry to hear for your loss, I can imagine. Hope you’re feeling okay even if it’s a tincy tiny bit xx