life in Norfolk without Jane

Hi there all have been to put fresh flowers on Janes grave a distance of 30 mile round trip this morning we live near Great Yarmouth her grave is in her fathers home village churchyard that she dearly loved which is what I wanted.
Her father met her mother in Derby during the war they married and moved to Norfolk where Jane was born in 1951 1952 saw them move to Derby so my father in law could get work even so they spent many happy holidays down here in Norfolk.
I met Jane in Derby I was born and bred there one of the first places she brought me was to Norfolk of course,we have lived here,holidayed here and when the chance came bought our first house here in 2008 you may guess Norfolk is my adopted county and would not even think of going back to Derby.
We have been married for 43 years and 4 years ago we found Jane had kidney disease and sadly passed away last November 2018.
I drove along Great Yarmouth seafront this morning on my own a place we have walked along,drove along hundreds of times when the loneliness caught up with me with out Jane Norfolk was her home county,we retired here and 8 months later she had gone.
What I am getting round to say is God has dealt us some sh-tty hands but losing Jane was the worst of them all,living here in Norfolk on my own with our little dog seems unbearable her 67years me for 43.
She is buried in Norfolk and I wish for the same as soon as is possible.
I’m sorry this is not coping with bereavement its just how I feel today and the rest of my time till I again see Jane.
. Regards to all MM69

Dear MM69
Firstly can I tell you how truly sorry I am that your Jane has died and left you behind…losing the other half of oneself is just the most painful.and disorientating thing that can ever happen and, although you probably feel as if you have lived a lifetime without her, it is still early days.
I can’t tell you that you will ever feel “better” but time numbs the pain a little and somehow we learn to go on…in a way, our loved ones continue to live on too because we carry them in our hearts forever. Try not to give up…hang on in there because we all have a hidden strength that we never knew about and that little dog of yours needs you very much.
I don’t know if you are into poetry but a verse came into my mind as I read your post, albeit changed slightly…your wife loved Norfolk and now there is a part of Norfolk that will be forever Jane’s…one day you will join her but until then keep
posting and know that you are among friends. Take care…God bless you x

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Hi thank you for your reply the worst time for me is when I see couples walking arm in arm together for 43 years and even 8 months ago Jane and myself did the same even the days before she passed away she wanted to go to the local stock car racing visit the Harry Potter experience in London,visit Windsor castle she didn’t realise how ill she was with kidney disease plus she needed dyaliss three times a week for 4 hours at a time although her passing was very quick we had had a normal day I took her to the doctors,we went shopping,came back had lasagne for tea went to bed about 11’oclock at 12’oclock she said she couldn’t breathe I thought it was the asthma she’d had put her on her nebulizer and called the ambulance who got her in a few minutes they took her to the hospital I followed on in the car thinking she was to be admitted she passed away 2-3 minutes before I got to A&E never had chance to say goodbye.
I am missing all the things we did her giving me a cuddle holding her hands they were usually cold which I can still feel them now,walking arm in arm as I say see other couples like this seems to make me more jealous and angry than sad wishing I could do the same,one day I’ll be able again to do these things when I see her again lost alone no children and sad.
. All the very best MM69