Life will never be the same. I can’t listen to music anymore and i can’t watch programs or films. Everything reminds me of my husband and it’s so difficult 
the last few days have been really hard and all i do is cry and I’m so lonely 
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Judy I know what you mean. I can’t listen to music either. I do watch a bit of TV but can’t read a book or anything.
Miserable isn’t it.
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Woolly it’s horrible and people say they understand and things will get better. When they haven’t been through it. I watch TV but nothing me and my husband watched together and most music is so sad. Hugs to you 
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Oh @Judy10 I can’t listen to music now either and it used to be on in our house all the time. I listen to podcasts or Talking radio when I am in the car. I can tolerate my daughters rave music a little - if you can call it music !!
I watch the same safe tv programmes ( only one really ) and the news, although that is depressing.
Occasionally I’ve watched a film but not one with any emotion in it.
Tonight a film came on after the news which was about someone dying. It was interesting but at one point I was just in floods of tears. Everyone had gone to bed so it was probably good for me to cry as I always have to hold together for my kids.
I find everything in life I now relate to my husband. He’s in my head 24/7. Funny I didn’t think of him half as much when he was alive.
It’s all just so sad isn’t it.
Sending love and strength to you xx
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I can relate to you all.
I sometimes feel I don’t know anymore what I like especially with entertainment.
My husband was a real music, film and TV buff so I’d often be exposed to stuff I wouldn’t necessarily choose myself.
More often than not I’d really enjoy it.
Now he’s gone I’m rubbish and too watch simple stuff with no emotion.
It’s so dull!
Without Repair shop and Yorkshire vet, the evenings would be unbearable!
I have been revisiting some of the old 80-90’s classic films with my daughter.
Very happy memories come then from my childhood/ young adulthood with my husband, which I share with her.
I often have a little cry once she’s gone but it’s almost happy sad.
With winter coming I guess we can always rely on bake off and strictly .
Being in a partnership for such a long time, having never really been alone. I feel I’m figuring out who I am now, in everything.
Trouble is I rather liked the old me that was part of the couple. I loved my life with my husband with me.
I too think of him all the time.
I think they were part of who we are when they were alive so we didn’t need to think of them in that sense.
I don’t know but sending love to you all.
Thank goodness for this forum
Xx
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@Swantaff - I agree with all you say.
I’d been with my husband since I was 18 and we really just grew up together. I did things by myself over the years and sometimes went away for a months or so with work /uni when I was much younger, but I always knew he was at home and we were always a couple.
Like you , I liked myself how I was with him around, I loved being married, and then being part of our family with our kids.
I know I was lucky to have such a blessed and happy life with him for over 30 years, which just maybe makes it so much harder to adapt to this new life that I don’t want.
There is not one positive thing I can take from his passing.
I am also trying to work out who this new me is and will be - although I hope that person will not be who I am at the moment as I’m just so blessed sad all the time now.
Love and hugs to all xxxx
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Swantaff i feel the same as you my husband picked alot of good films that I wouldn’t of normally watched and we enjoyed new tricks together and I’ve not watched one film or new tricks since he has been gone.ive also been watching where the heart is and going through old programs and i feel i just can’t watch them without him.
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Roni, you were his happy ever after, you made him happy from the day you met for the rest of his life.
Be proud of that. Xx
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Oh Willow thankyou.
That’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me in what feels like a long time. 
It has made me cry - but in a good way.
And the lovely thing is that I do know how much he loved me and how happy I made him (and him me).
I just miss him all the time - and I know we all feel the same on here.
Love and hugs to you - you have made my sad day feel lighter xx
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