How do you cope and deal with grief when you put it away? I mean, I didn’t give myself proper time to deal with it and now after a while I’m just going back to those feelings and I can’t cope. And when I lost a loved one back in a day I closed myself for others to help me. I know life goes on and you just get used to it but how do I go on when I have so much guilt and hate toward myself? I literally don’t know what to do
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Hi @koktajlufka
I’m so sorry for your loss. I would highly recommend that you look into grief counselling ro help you to ‘unpack’ your feelings. I found out the hard way that grief is something we have to work through or it stays with us as I was still having issues 12 years after losing my dad.
You aren’t alone. We’re all here with you 
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Hi there. Yes you’re not alone. I for one know what grief does it is an excruciating pain it eats away like a cancer it never lets go not for one moment.
I lost my mum and nothing absolutely nothing prepared me for what was to come and because I wasn’t prepared I didn’t know what to do. I cried myself to sleep every night and I pushed people away. To this day I still with feelings of guilt. Some days I know I am torturing myself that I wasn’t there for my lovely mum. I had a mum I didn’t deserve in my life because I put my existing partner before my mum. I let myself down and more importantly my mum. I’m so full of regret it’s hard to live with myself
If I could have just one moment with my mum I’d beg her forgiveness but I’d never let go of her just to hear her voice and see her smile wouid be worth everything
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@Steven Mums are amazing and I can guarantee that you wouldn’t need to beg her for forgiveness. She loves you unconditionally and the only thing that would upset her is seeing you beating yourself about something that has already happened and cannot be changed.
We all find ways to feel guilty when we lose someone. Just remember that she loves you and you love her. She’d want you to move forward in your life at your own pace, carrying her love with you.
At the end of the day, love is all that matters. It truly is all that matters - so concentrate on that.
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Hi
I also hate myself and feel guilty, i thought it was just me but from reading posts i see a lot of us feel this way. Were all beating ourselves up over things none of us can now change. We have to look at all the positives, the fact that we loved these special people and even had them in our lives, thats whats so amazing. I try to think what my mum would say to me and that would be that she loves me and wants me to be happy and that she will always always be with me. Look after yourselves and remember grief is all part of the love we felt and without one you wouldnt get the other❤️
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Hello everyone has valid points.
I look at a grief as the enemy it doesn’t care if we suffer if we cry in excruciating pain. It wants to hurt. Someone once told me grief is the result of the love we have for our mums. I don’t get it. Does anyone feel this way? I know one thing it’s been with me for 7 years. I hate what it’s doing to me. I didn’t ask for this grief. I certainly didn’t ask to lose my mum. I know I shouldn’t say this if I could turn back time I’d make certain my mum never left me. I would tell my mum all of us in the family have been living a terrible dream you went there are so many things I’d tell her I’d tell her don’t ever leave us again I couldn’t bear it mum. I’m never going to get that opportunity ever. I feel robbed of the years I could of had with my mum I’ll
Never forgive that death took my mum.
All i know is if i hadnt of loved as much as i did then this grieving pain wouldnt hurt like it does. I wouldnt cry every time i think of her or see her photo or remember places we went to and things that we did. I wouldnt feel like i wanted the world to swollow me up, i would sleep at night and i wouldnt punish myself for eating or feel guilty for even breathing. I loved her and so i except that it will hurt in a way ive never felt before, i dont want this pain either but because i loved her i have too, my love hasnt died but she has:disappointed_relieved:
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I didnt put ’ disappointed relieved’ where did that come from
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That’s just it. We loved our mums. That’s why the pain of grief hurts so much.
I have tried so hard to push it all away but I can’t. It’s a living hell and nothing prepares you for it. It just comes. I remember the day it did it was so vivid. I miss her so so much and it still doesn’t feel real that she’s not here