Life

Losing a partner
1

What is the point in life?
Why we here?
Why is there so much heart ache?
Why is there so much cruelty?
Don’t get me wrong I’ll keep going till it’s my time my kids need me too.
But sometimes it makes you think

11 Likes
2

@Sah28 for many years I have wondered what is the point of our lives? Are we preparing for something else or when we pass do we just disappear. Now losing my partner there seems even less point. I know that I have got my family but they have their own lives and I don’t want to interfere with them.

3 Likes
3

My lads all still live at home 22, 19 and 11 I need to stay strong for them. But there’s so many questions and n answers
I’m sure they’d want to support you than see you struggle I would my parents x

4

I know what you mean, my wife died unexpectedly 3 weeks ago, she would have battered me at thinking about ending it, if it wasn’t for my animals I wouldn’t be here, her birthday on 23 rd (would of been 45) flattened me, especially when our favourite film came on! Now it’s just me our 5 cats dog and fish! Never felt so sick and lonely

5 Likes
5

@Neil66 such early days for you. At least you have the company of your pets I’m sure your wife would want you to stay strong but it is not so easy when you’re the one left behind :broken_heart:

1 Like
6

So with you on this. Hugs and strength

1 Like
7

Sorry for a random question, but how long (I know everyone is different) does the sickness and not wanting food and food not wanting you last? I’m trying but lost over a stone already, but really can’t stomach food? Thanks for your support, especially as you are all going through the same.

1 Like
8

I really didn’t have any appetite for several weeks, over a month but then I made myself start having some healthy meals as I realised making myself unwell was not being fare on my family. Some ready meals helped, I didn’t have to think about cooking just popped them in the microwave

1 Like
9

Trying that, but really can’t stomach. Doesn’t help my wife cooked everything fresh and didn’t let me cook for 19 years!
Thanks for the reply, so hard to figure out what’s normal! x

10

Hi @Neil66,

I am very sorry for the loss of your wife. It is ghastly.

I suspect that there is no “normal” beyond trying to find what works best for you. Whatever, be compassionate towards yourself, don’t expect too much of yourself, be cautious of the "I should"s and "I ought"s. Also try to be aware that you probably are not thinking as you would normally do. This can last for some time I have observed.

Best wishes to you.

2 Likes
11

@Neil66
I’m in the same position. Can’t be bothered to cook for myself so ready meals are okay at the moment. I’ve lost a stone and a half since September and I was slim to begin with. I know I look terrible but my appetite isn’t good. I just make sure that I eat a little often and make it as nutritious as possible. Have to confess to eating quite high fat things too, but once I’m back on an even keel I’ll address that. It’s just so difficult when you’re not hungry, isn’t it?
I have a wonderful friend and colleague who lives near me who keeps bringing me homemade soup, meals and on Christmas Day and New Years Day she appeared with a full Scottish breakfast. How kind people are xx

3 Likes
12

You are right, makes you realise who people are true with the kindness shown, even though can be overload. I’m trying to do food, but just can’t stomach it at min. Tomorrow will be 3 weeks. Thanks all for the support and advice, I know all here are feeling this and worse, I hope as this ‘develops’ I’ll be able to help too x

13

It’s such early days for you, you’re probably still in shock. Make sure you’re drinking enough fluid, try milky drinks if you can and at the moment anything that you feel like is good. Gradually, like me, you’ll start to eat a little bit better, and you have your lovely pets to care for and give you a purpose. Xx

1 Like
14

Thanks so much mist2, didn’t help, although I was at work, after my wife died I was arrested for her murder ( postmortem has since shown natural causes) , was able to collect her wedding ring today, that will always stay on my st Christopher chain forever. Pets making a big help, we have 5 house cats dog and fish, cats have been so traumatised… yet so loving and supportive. Thanks, just hope things get easier, didn’t think so until I found here x

1 Like
15

@Neil66 oh my gosh, that is so awful. I’m so sorry for you having to go through that, losing your loved one is hard enough but for them to have accused you of that is terrible :cry:

1 Like
16

@Neil66
No wonder you don’t have much of an appetite.!

17

Thanks for all support, really struggling, now have Cath’s ring with me, but had call today to collect ashes tomorrow, broken

18

My partner passed 5 weeks ago I have to carry on for my grown children and can’t forget the cats that’s another story x

1 Like
19

Cats are our grounding , we will never leave them, as much as we feel like clocking out!!! Never felt so lonely, but 5 monsters are trying to care xx

20

Same my grown daughters boy cat (or so we thought ) until it had 3 kittens. My partner was fine then so we kept 2 little brother kittens. Already had another little black cat that my daughter had saved years previous :joy: so have ended up with 4 cats. To be honest I wouldn’t be without them now at least I can spoil them and they are so loving x

2 Likes