I lost her last year to cancer. She’d had health problems all her life starting with a hysturectony when she was 21. That progressed to osteoporosis in her forties which meant she’d had both hips replaced and eventually was in a wheelchair. This had spread to her hands and knees. She was never going to get a telegram from the queen but to loose her to cancer seems so unfair when she had so much else going on. I’m so disappointed that life for her couldn’t have been kinder.
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She was only 65. Surely she could have been allowed to live a little longer.
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I’m sorry if what I’m about to say seems a bit deep. As far as I know she had no real beliefs but the night before she passed away she told me she wanted to go. She’d had enough of being unwell and suffering most of her life and wanted it gone. Did she see or know something I didn’t because to me if she was heading for oblivion would she have been so keen to go. Did she see something ahead of her that was better. Is it something that none of us see until close to the end. I suppose we’ll all find out one day. I should say that I have a belief in God but have doubts all the time. Just hope I’m right and there’s more to life than this.
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Dear peterj
All we ever wanted was what we already had. I struggle with this thought since my husband died tragically in a motorbike accident. We have two lovely adult children and two little grandsons. Life has gone as I knew it and now I just exist for our family.
I am sorry that you find yourself on this painful journey.
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In the early hours the night before she died she told me she loved me. I put her back to bed and the next day she was gone. I so wish we’d had more time to talk. Neither of us knew that it was that imminent. If we’d had more time I’m sure we’d have said more. I’ve read on here of people that have lost loved ones and after their passing they’ve found letters to them, sometimes written years before, expressing their thoughts because of this I’ve written letters to family and friends and left them with my will so that should I not have a chance to say things that I want to say they will at least be able to see what my thoughts were.
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Hi Peter, I feel like you but for different reasons. I was the one with the health issues developing thyroid and then related eye problems. My husband of 37 years was my rock and always there for me and the family. He had just over a year of retirement then collapsed and died with a cardiac arrest whilst playing football. He was 67. Like you say, life’s not fair.
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When people say if they lived their life again they wouldn’t change a thing I envy them. If I had my time again I’d change everything. Instead of marrying the wrong person in my twenties, had I known her then, I’d have married Jo. Instead of 28 years together we’d have had nearly 50 years together. She couldn’t have children but we may have adopted, she’d have been a wonderful mother. Our lives would have been so different. I am so disappointed with the way things turned out.
Sheila and Murphy.
Thanks for your replies. Of course a lot of what I’ve written is from my experience. We were expecting the worst and to some extent had time to get used to it. Of course I’m well aware that accidents and sudden death is a totally different thing and creates different thoughts and responses. I’m sorry for both you’re losses.
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That’s interesting and hopeful. I pray everyday our souls will be joined up again one day so that I feel whole again.
Hi Peterj
I’m new to the forum, my husband died of blood cancer aged 41 two weeks ago. The night before he passed away he told me he felt comfortable and he was ready to go and he said he knew it would be soon. He told me this the Sunday evening and he passed away the Monday afternoon. I think people that are ill know when they are going to pass. He also told me he had, had enough and was ready to go.
It broke my hear hearing him say that and I told him that I would be ok and he could go when he was ready.
But I’m broken I wasn’t ready but I also know I never would be.
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Gem2. I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband, so young at 41. My partner was 65 when she passed away and I felt that was too young. She’d had bad health for most of her life and was in a wheelchair so I understood when she said she’d had enough but it just seemed so unfair that with all the other health problems that she had she then had to develop cancer and die from that. Best wishes to you.
Hi Gem2, I’m sorry for your loss, I lost my husband suddenly Dec 12 last year. He had felt a little unwell for about a week and put it down to having had his COVID booster, on the Tuesday I had been helping him get into bed and he said he wished he could go to sleep and not wake up, he passed away the Saturday night. I have relived this over and over, did he know something I didn’t. If he felt so I’ll why did he not say anything to me. He was always one for keeping his thoughts to himself, but I wish he had told me he felt so ill. He was 73 we had so many plans and now they are over. I wish he was still here but I know that will never happen. I miss him every day and always will
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thats a good idea to leave letters