I havent been on here in a while, life and grief is kicking me bad this week. I’ve averaged on 2 hours sleep per night since Sunday, im constantly exhausted, constantly over busy and my grief just feels totally overwhelming and uncontrollable this week. I feel like I could fly off the handle at any time, itll just take the smallest inconvenience to make me absolutely lose it. Does anyone else just have pure anger toward their grief?
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Absolutely, 100%. The anger can take over at times and i can be snappy and have an ‘i don’t care’ attitude. But i know, for those around me, I have to reign it in.
Anger won’t change our situation, nothing will. Why be angry at something that you can’t change. I think sometimes it’s harder in the fact that others think we should have moved on or have got over it but that’s easier said than done. Grief is with us always, it just changes as time passes.
How’s your little girl? I think your amazing for doing grief and bringing up your daughter. Do you get time for you? Can you go to a class or do a sport where you can release the built up tension?
I’m two years in now but my life is still hugely affected by my grief but many days do feel lighter and i feel at peace with what’s happened. I still move forward at my own pace and do what i feel i need as and when i need to.
Anger will always there, we have a lot to be angry about. The anger is ok, as long as you can control it.
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Thank you for this. I’m struggling with reigning it in, I wouldn’t say I’m an angry person at all but its more frustration that bleeds into anger. I get frustrated with myself for not being able to sleep or do simple tasks and it translates to pure anger, then it flies off the handle very quickly, I could drop a fork and before I know it I’m angry at my partner for not being here, angry at anyone who talks about her, angry at anyone who makes comments that to me sound stupid, just mad at everyone and everything.
My wee one is doing great, she’s just a total joy, and nothing seems to be affecting her so far although I know she’s young. I get time for me at the gym a couple of times a week while she’s still in nursery and I have a break in work which is a good way to get anger out. Other than that, she goes to her grandparents (my partners parents) house for a sleepover once a month and I normally spend that night letting all the sadness out that I don’t show around her, or having a drink or two which is never a good idea.
I’m almost two years in now as well as you. There are some days that feel lighter and more peaceful but that’s always followed by pure guilt for even daring to have a happier day. Grief just feels so impossible to navigate like nothing is acceptable or ‘right’. I’m hoping this is just a low week and ill be able to look at it with a clearer head after I hopefully have a good sleep
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Everything you’re saying is accurate to my feelings. Stress is constant, everything is bitter sweet, guilt is a constant parallel to all my feelings.
If you’re partner could tell you one thing, I’m sure that she would say she wants you to be happy, whatever that looks like.
My constant is, FFS! Anything and everything triggers these words 
.
Some times just going back to getting through the day and cancelling out all the noise around us, is good xx
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Aye anger its a prick but just as valid as any other emotion, like @Ali29 says we have a lot to be angry about and unfortunately none of that is ever going away. It’s just over 2 years for me, right now I’m in a good place, a place where I can accept how I feel and allow all of my emotions to have a seat at the table, we can all just sit around and have a chat. With anger I think of it now as letting me know I’ve reached the parameters of what I find acceptable, and for me identifying those frustrations seems to help in some way. Its not like I can always do anything about them but giving myself space to be angry, listening to it and trying to understand what drives it, giving validity to that experience rather than trying to disavow it, for me, lets it move on and settle in some other place for a while. I’ve found anger the hardest part of all of this to deal with but I’ve come to realise that its all part of the human experience, it’s always going to come and find us, it’s part of who we are.
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I got angry at my coco pops yesterday for being too noisy, when you find yourself screaming shut up! to a bowl of cereal, you have to admit you have anger issues. I was always so calm and polite but now, good god. Then I get angry at myself for getting angry.
I do hope I can get back somewhere close to my old self someday, but for now… FFS!!! 
Take care all, xx
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That cracked me up! Thanks😆