My poor mum died from an undiagnosed aneurysm. None of us had recognized her symptoms, it was first very unspecific back pain and finally very fast, mistaken for a stomach bug. I found her in her bed and the world has stopped for me since. I miss her terribly, I feel guilty, I regret the things that were left unsaid and undone. I had been trying to finish family paperwork (I was caring for both my parents) and had made plans to take her places we had been in my childhood. I am not suicidal, but wish I was just gone too and only think that I should stay alive for my dad and my children. Friends have been supportive but I have no interest in anything. I only want to see her again.
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Hello daughter7, im so sorry for the loss of your mom..a lot of what you describe is what a lot of people who are grieving go through as well, it seems like nothing else matters, we just want that person we lost, i see you do have family around you. You all need each other during these heartbreaking 
moments, ..have you looked into counseling or a bereavement group near you? It does help to talk about your feelings, i hope posting here helps you as well. Take care and God bless you 
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Thank you Lightmary68. Yes, it helps reading other people’s comments, we are all suffering equally. I’ll look into some local support too…
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I’m so sorry to hear that, daughter7. I feel exactly the way you do. It’s horrible, isn’t it. Feeling lost and like part of you has died with your mother, I know I do. My lovely mum passed due to a sudden heart attack, unfortunately. No signs of heart problems. It was very distressing to find her in such a terrible way, has she’d been dead for some time, God bless her.
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In our cases it’s also all the things we couldn’t say or do anymore because our mums died suddenly. Similar to your mum, nobody knew my mum had an abdominal aneurysm. Also 5-6 weeks ago, my father and I found her in her bed and she was already cold and blue. I got hysterical, still called for an ambulance, but deep down I knew it was too late. They did an autopsy then, that’s how we found out. I hope our mums didn’t suffer. Especially when you were close to the parent, life seems to have no more meaning. 
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Aww so sorry. Yes, very surreal. I knew as soon as I saw my mum slumped on her face, bloody mouth, her blue lips and touched her cold face and shouting mum over and over that she was gone. Utter shock, heartbroken and bereft since then. I feel bad that I wasn’t there when she passed too. Ty, I hope so too that both our lovely mothers and anybody else who has lost a loved one, that it wasn’t painful. x
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I am binge watching Youtube on near death experiences. What they describe is no pain, even in the most horrible accidents.
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Dear Daughter7,
I know how heartbroken you are. The pain of the also unexpected loss is unbearable. I know I have lost my sweet dear mother 21 weeks ago (due to influenza A virus that I never heard of, viral pneumonia). I feel so lost without her, pain is unbearable. The suicide thought I also had and still have sometimes. I think it is kind of normal with this pain. I have my sister who supports me (she is heartbroken too). From when I wake till I go the sleep I feel this horrible pain. So the doctors did no scan to examine your mother, was she in the hospital? I know when the loss is this fast and unexpected there are so many things we left unsaid and undone. That is so painful. But you mention you were caring for both of your parents, then she must have known how much you loved her. I am so sorry for you, making plans as you mention and then all of a sudden your whole world falls apart by her sudden loss. Nothing helps, nothing. Nobody can help with this pain. I think if we want to survive we have to go throught this horrible pain. For myself too, I found a very good psychologist, it is 1 hour a week but I keep looking forward to see her every week. My cousin said one of the things that will help is time a lot of time (years). Life is so hard and unfair. But you still have your father and children. And you can talk to him about her. Yuo share the same familystories, her personality, everything. I know the only thing is wanting her back. I don’t know when it happened, but you might be still in shock. I am too. It starts to sink in day by day. I read our minds cannot let the trauma in at once, that is unbearable. Try to hang on to your father. I have lost both my parents now that is also awful. Sending you strength and love. Deborah from The Netherlands.
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Thank you so much, I sent you a direct message earlier.
Hello daughter7,
Where can I find the direct message you have send me? Cannot find it.
Debra65
Hi Deborah, yes they seem hard to find. To send it it’s by clicking onto the username of the person, but now I had to search myself. 
Click on your own user symbol in the top right of the screen, then onto the envelope and an inbox should come up. Hope it works. For a moment I could actually just forget my pain and send you a laughing emoji.
Actually it seems to be a DOUBLE click onto the envelope. A bit complicated indeed! Maybe someone knows a faster way of accessing personal messages…
Ok, thank you. I will try to find it. When did it happen to your mother and may I ask how old she was? I will get back to you when I have found your message.
Just seeing you can click on the 3 lines (second symbol from the right) in the upper right part of the screen and then on MY MESSAGES. I’ll write more tomorrow!
Yes I have found your message. Thank you. I just wrote you back there (long mail). Looking forward to your reply! Sleep well. Xx