I hate having to live this different life, it’s not a new life without my lovely Alan, it’s not the life we lived together, it’s a whole new different life, a different life I’ve been forced to live without him.
I didn’t want to begin a different life, it was forced upon me, and mow I’m faced with building on this different life, yet it is still very difficult, i don’t want to let go of the life i had known throughout our life together which spanned 52 years, 50 of those as husband and wife. now I’m faced with rebuilding my life, but it’s not rebuilding the life we had together, it’s not about building upon the life we planned for our retirement years together, it’s not about building a new life alone it’s about building a different life alone, a different life that keeps my memories, my love and my dreams, even though my dreams will go unfulfilled I keep them alive, they’re always in my heart. this different life I’ve been forced to live will keep my Alan’s memory alive in everything I do, everything I think and everywhere I go.
please accept my apologies for my late night ramblings. it’s at this time of the evening I get these deep thoughts and feelings.
night God bless everyone
truly hope today is an improvement on yesterday and tomorrow is an improvement on today