Living a Nightmare

End of Nov mydad had major surgery 4 days later was discharged home against our judgement. He got to spend 2 hours with my mum then after getting stuck coming out of toilet slid to floor. Ambulance took him back and it was discovered he had fractured tibia on operated leg. I stayed with my mum a week then we luckily managed to get a carer go in at lunchtime. So between her, my brother and I we cared for mum whilst dad was then sent to a rehabilitation site just up the road from their home. Mum was really good early days, was taken out, spoke on phone regularly to all the family. Xmas week she suddenly went downhill and on 27th an ambulance was called for her as she couldn’t do anything or hold a conversation. We were told she had toxicity to one of her meds she had kidney issues. After then being treated for a uti she was chatting normal and mobile. Then she went downhill again and was really abusive to me on phone saying her worst nightmare was something happening to one of them before they could be together again. Although mum came back mentally she then had a bleed on brain and went down hill. I visited and as soon as she saw me she held her arms open and sobbed. She couldn’t speak or write but I understand her fear. Sadly on 14th January my wonderful mum passed away and her nightmare had come true her and dad didn’t get to see each other. They had been married 61 years and it was the perfect love story. My heart is truly broken for both of them.
If this wasn’t enough grief to cope with one of my dogs my shadow who has Bern with me 13 years has a fast growing tumour and our time together is very short now and I cant do the things I want to with her before she leaves me.
Sorry its so long x

Dear Louise65,

What a difficult time this must be for you. I am so sorry you have lost your mum and that circumstances had made it impossible for your dad and her to be together at the end of her life. Is he still in the rehabilitation site and did you and your brother have to break the news to him? I hope that he is recovering well from his operation and his fall and that you are all able to support each other. I know from experience how hard t is to loose your mum, and how hard it must be for your dad to loose her after so many years together. I never had dogs, but two of my sisters do, and I know how their dogs helped them in their grief, so I can understand your worries about your dog.
It is good that you have come to this site. I hope that reading post from other people will help you.
Please feel free to post on this site as often as you want to. Sending you virtual hug.
Jo

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