Living alone

It has been almost six months since my husband of 31yrs died. I still cannot live at home alone. I miss him and I am afraid. I hate being weak, but I hate it even more that he’s gone.

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Dear farm wife

I’m so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself on this website probably none of us ever expected to be on here. …

It’s not about being weak it’s about how you feel this terrible loss is never ending . You shouldn’t expect too much of yourself 6 months is still just a drop in the ocean .
Your much further in than me I am at 16 weeks and still feels like yesterday .

Please take care of yourself everyone on here understands keep posting when you need to
Take care hugs to you

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I am so sorry for your loss. It is just over 18 months since my husband passed away. I am really struggling, the sadness is overwhelming, although I do put on a brave face. Everyone on here feels the same. It helps to know that.

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Hi, i find it easier in company, there I can put things at the back of my mind, kind of pretend things are normal. Alone, not so easy, it’s 15 months for me, wouldn’t say it gets easier,but the heartache is slightly less. Hope it gets easier, as time passes. Xx

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I also find it much easier in company and it’s a little over 2 years since my husband died. I don’t mind evenings but during the day I have to go out. If I’ve nothing to do I just drive round aimlessly and occasionally stop off for shopping. Covid made things very difficult as I love being hugged by my friends. I have no family other than my husband’s stepdaughter so I rely on friends.

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I work during the day, so that keeps my mind busy. The nights are hard for me. The house is empty, too quiet. I can’t stand it.

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Me too. I went back to work a few days after the funeral. Work keeps my mind occupied. Nights and weekends are horrible.

Work, has become, my diversion, nights, are never easy, weekends, I have been calling in local pub, but all I do is sit alone, nursing my drink in many ways its worse, being alone at home is hard, being alone , in company is worse.

Hi FarmWife

It has only been a month since my husband passed yes the loneliness is hard especially at night when it’s time for bed.

Good on you for returning back to work I thought I could return back to work but it was has been too overwhelming for me.

Am really struggling with my emotions but I know it is a process I have to go through no matter how I try to avoid it.

Take your time there is no time limit when it comes to greif

I really had no choice, but to go back to work. Or quit my job. For me it has been a life saving distraction. I couldn’t sit at home alone, I am sure that I would drown in the loneliness. Everyday is a struggle, a heartache that never goes away. I miss everything about my husband, even the stuff that annoyed me. I know exactly where you are. I didn’t think I would survive the first week, month, and even now 8 months without him, it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I hope you have friends and loved ones to surround yourself with. It does help. Prayers for peace and comfort and strength to simply do the next thing.

Thank you for you honesty and sharing your experience although it is only 8 months it is still raw and fresh.

Keep doing what works best for you and let know one tell you differently every individuals greif expensive different.

We are here and underdtand❣

My darling wife passed away in May 2020, life since then has just been about existing, I still cry every day. It was an ordinary day when I found her cold on the floor in the bedroom, she had been fine the day before, it came as a total shock and as it was in the first lockdown I couldn’t be with anyone, she had just turned 62 and the post mortem stated Bronchial Pneumonia, she had no symptoms, not a cough or struggling for breath. I still can’t sleep in our bedroom as the overwhelming image is her on the floor and lifeless, it seems such a cruel world that two people madly in love should be parted in that way, no goodbyes. I send all my thoughts to others who are feeling the pain of grief.

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April 20th 2020, rushed home to find my partner on the floor, I tried CPR, but failed. Following week, I had to self isolate in the room I found her in, so I totally emphasise, I no longer live in that house, moved about 12 months ago, but that scene, plays out in mind, I have her phone , that last call she made at 6 minutes past 9, is still recorded there, maybe I should try not to think about that moment, but how can you not. So no goodbyes, may last words to her, although she probably never heard them were . Please breath, hoping you find some peace, take care.

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Sorry you’ve been through that, I now sleep on the sofa and find I can’t sleep unless there is some background noise to soothe my overactive brain. Our place is full of memories and the last one is painful, moving sounds like a good idea.

It is slightly easier, I guess, but memories, still linger, I don’t sleep easily,Shell had been ill for a few years, so I try to think she is in a better place. Her suffering is over.
Take care.

Chas I find myself doing the same I when I go to bed I too have some background noise like TV or the radio.

Thanks for sharing

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