I lost my husband 6 months ago and the pain has been relentless. I am lost without him. I am usually in good health but got a chest infection a few days ago. I woke up last night feeling I was choking and realised I am here all on my own. No one to help if I need it. That is truly scary.
I have friends and relatives but they are not here with me in the middle of the night. Frightening
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Hi @mary2 , everything feels far scarier at 3am, doesnt it, The reality is that almost every time, when the dawn breaks we are still here and feeling much better. I remember it well!
But one time, it just might be serious when we might fall over and break a leg, or we get severe chest pains, think we are having a stroke, start coughing up blood, or imaginary bubonic plague. Unlikely, but possible. I used to worry about this a lot, so I bought an alarm with a pendant button, which if activated , automatically calls for help on the phone, the nice people on the phone talk to me on a loudspeaker, then arrange the appropriate emergency service. If they can’t get a response for me, they have the phone number of my neighbours who rush over to check on me. my door keys are in a little safe outside the door, and the response people and neighbours all have the code to open the safe. Its not a perfect solution, but I’ll never be lying incapacitated all night, but it’s a great comfort.
I could get a new wife, housekeeper or au pair, but I love living on my own so that’s not a real option.
It’s been a real comfort.
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You can buy one for around ÂŁ25 That is connected to a family member/s or neighbour or friends by their mobile phones. They get a message if you press the button.
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@LynT, mine is a private one from PPP Taking Care, I’m sure there are other options, including the local authority. Maybe they have different levels of response.
All I’m sure of is that Taking Care have been excellent with me.
So just shop around.
I do know of many people who don’t bother to permanently wear their panic button (pendant or bracelet) but leave it somewhere so they “know where it is”. That makes it a bit of a waste of money.
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Thank you for your reply. I must get one. My husband had one for several years and always wore the pendant when I went out. Funny though I never thought to keep it for myself.
It came from our local authority and worked as you described
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I know how you feel. I felt safe with Tony here and now scared of things happening when im on my own. I wake up suddenly in night and cry out for Tony and realise im on my own. Its not nice. I have a pendant alarm but still get afraid.
Hi Mick
Do you have any links or names of them so I can have a look please? Thanks Lyn
Ah thank you I will have a look into them as you never know when you live alone. I am only 65 but it still worries me as I have no family
Telecare do them
@LynT , they are called caregiver alarms, one is: SINGCALL Tuya Wifi Smart SOS Emergency.
You have to get one with wifi support as some are just in home ones. Amazon has a few.
Thanks I don’t want to go through local authority I would prefer private so going to shop around, I have a funeral plan and will to sort out too. All a nightmare! but this is the problem when you have no next of kin. Could think of more exciting things to do but it’s peace of mind that my affairs are all in order
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Thanks Mick, that’s useful to know, never thought anything like this would be on my to do list lol
Me neither Lyn. Everything’s up in the air now. lol
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Yep don’t know my arse from my elbow these days lol
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How’s everyone coping with Xmas looming?
This will be my 2nd Xmas and I am taking myself off to the Lake District from 23rd Dec to 2nd Jan as can’t face being at home and facing that empty chair in the room, too painful. I have had to change all my lounge because it’s where I attempted CPR and the trauma of that is too much
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This is my first Christmas. My daughter lives in Rome, so I will be there for the whole Christmas period. Could not bear to be at home and have to return each evening to an empty house
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Had some kind offers from the family, but its too soon after Carol’s passing.
Not in a Christmasy mood so I’ll pass this year and get through to the new year as best I can.
Carol will be up there watching me incinerate the turkey with her usual shake of the head.
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I don’t have an alarm nut I carry my mobile at all times. I collapsed at night once when my husband was still alive and he did everything for me, so now worry it may happen again whilst on my own.
As for Christmas, I can’t imagine how it will be. It’s only a few weeks since he died.
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Yes the first one is a blur and you just want it all over with. I had offers from friends last year (1st one) but I couldn’t face any of it and needed to be alone but that in itself is excruciatingly hard but I survived. I was determined from then on, I would never spend another Christmas like that again. I have to make New traditions now and spend it differently. Past one’s are too painful/sad to recall.
My husband always cooked the turkey with me supervising whilst drinking wine lol… All seems a lifetime ago now. I feel like I live in a Tardis as time has no meaning anymore.
I hope everyone manages to get through it the best way they can
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