Hi All
Could do with some advice on learning to live with greif after loosing my soulmate earlier this year. Struggling with anxiety and a broken heart .
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@Martin13
So sorry you are here - the place no one wants to be, I lost my husband on 8 October he was only 56.
It is incredibly tough for you at the moment and I hope you find words of comfort here, as well as support.
It is so raw for you at the moment, and you are smack bang in the middle of the maelstrom of.
My strategy was/is just to ‘roll with it’ whichever emotion decides to knock on your door, accept it, and let it in. Don’t fight it, as the emotion will win, every time.
I won’t lie, it’s a bloody bumpy up and down road, but one day in the future, whenever that may be, you will live at one with your grief, and one day, it will be ok. Not yet, but one day.
Best wishes.
Helen
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Martin, you are living with grief already and have been for many months. This is how grief is, we live with it and through it. You’ve gotten this far with it and it will be easier to handle one day, perhaps 1.5 - 2 years as it is a slow process.
Whatever you are feeling is normal, we are all in your shoes and have felt, or are feeling, exactly as you. We can’t rush through, we can’t skip over and no words or pills make the pain go away. Only time. Cliche’? Yes, but so true. Patience in grief is hard, but we must accept it all.
You will break through to feeling alive and living again. Just not yet. Be easy on yourself and expect the grief to last a long while, knowing that it will become a part of life rather than your whole life.
Much love
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Hi Helen
Defo the toughest thing i have had to deal with so far in my life.Just feel like a lost sheep with out her but thank you for your kind reply which means a lot to me.life just aint fair sometimes
Martin
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Again thankyou Peaches for your kind and very intresting reply to my message . No pills will fix my broken heart but im just so sad and struggle to open that foor every days as im to scared to face whats out thre
Martin
@Martin13 If you ever feel the need to talk to people close by, the forum Way Up has many members from your part of the world, and there are meet ups with other widows/ers when members feel ready.
Yep, you’re right, life isn’t fair, and losing a spouse/partner is by far one of the most difficult and traumatic events we ever have to face.
Look after yourself
Best
H
Usually when I read posts on this site, I’ll pick up something that resonates and makes something click into place.
Peaches said something, that eventually the grief will be a part of your life, but not the whole of your life.
Even though I’m still at the stage where I’d rather be with him, I know the sense of allowing time to play its part. Hoping that this overwhelming sadness everyday grows less and less.
Just be kind to yourselves, go at your own pace and take it a step at a time.
Hello Martin, I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband died 6 months ago and I feel grief lives with me now but it’s not something I try to push away. For me, grief is out of love and the love I feel for my husband will be with me always. So I have found a way to move forward with it as it’s part of me now. Be kind to yourself and take things slowly. We are all here for you.X
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It’s just over 2 years since I lost my husband of 51yrs, that makes me feel old but I’m not one of those grey haired old fashioned in the way i dress or thinking.
I wanted to go first because I knew how devastated I would be in losing him. I m not crying every day as I did during that first year but the tears still come especially when music we used dance and listen to. Do I turn the radio off. People say you have lots of memories but going over them make the pain worse. I will never be the same.
Hi Franikie
Firstly im sorry for your loss x
Again amazing kind words and what you say makes so much sense .Some days i wake and i start by crying and just cant face whats out there .The first 4 months seemed to be busy sorting things .Now thats gone i just feel lost,empty and broken hearted and miss my soulmate so so much .i just need a purpose in life and sometning to work towards 
Hi
Thankyou for taking your time to reply .It means so much to me as im so alone and lost.It feels like a big arm round my shoulder telling me im going to be fine .
Music evokes so much emotion and defo brings back them moments when i remembered listening to with my Charlie. Always crying in the car having to wipe my tears before getting out . We choose Snongbird by Fleetwood Mac for on of Charlottes songs .
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