When you are told the overwhelming news of having cancer, let alone terminal, it can take weeks and months before everything starts to tall into place. To be honest, there is no right or wrong way to feel when you hear bad news about your condition.
I know when Paul and I were told, we were numb at first, and unable to take in the news, or strangely calm as a matter-of-fact. As time passed by I began to feel a range of emotions. However, what Paul must have felt, I cant even begin to imagine. The sort of emotions you may feel are shock, anger, fear, denial, helplessness, frustration, sadness, relief or may be even acceptance if you knew something seriously was wrong before you were informed. With me, I had no idea I had cancer and that cancer tumours were crippling my spine.
The thing is, whether you have friends or family around you, you don’t have to deal with this alone when told of such devastating news. When you hear that your prognosis is terminal, it is a frightening experience and hard to take in. I know we did when we were told. If you have no family to be with you, then have a friend with you to support you. Just having someone else with you takes the sting out of the meetings when you are told your prognosis is now what perhaps it should be.
When I was told, I was in A&E in Northwick Park before I was transferred to Charing Cross to the care of Professor Stebbings. You will find that you also come under what is known as Palliative care and this will be with you until your demise, whenever that may be.
When you have had a chance to take things in, do ask your oncologist what support is available to you. They refer you to additional palliative specialist care, along side what you may already be receiving.
How you deal with living terminal cancer is entirely up to you and how you get your head around things. It took me most of the time I was in hospital, before I came to terms and accepted my diagnosis and how I was going to deal with things. Up until that point, I felt the world was against me, I was in pain and suffering things and losing control of my body and not knowing why. It got to me and to see my family and especially Paul in pain watching me lying there so helpless.
It took a lot of courage to turn things around and to fight back. Paul who had been with at the start could have walked away from all this, but didn’t, instead he proposed to me and that was a life line I treasured more than my own life.
I was blown away by friends and work colleagues at how they reacted to the news of me being terminally ill and they asked why didn’t I write my story about living with cancer and so this ladies and gentlemen is our story and how we survive living with terminal cancer, the appointments, the chemo, the burst appendix, pneumonia and the like that fate has thrown at us both and how I have come through two serious life threatening illnesses when I should have died. Have faith in your ability to kick cancer into touch. Don’t give up, whatever you do. Fight back, you will be surprised believe me.
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