It’s been 18 months since my husband died suddenly in his sleep from a blood clot. He was only 66 and fit and healthy. It’s been so tough but I have somehow managed to get through it with the support of my grown up son and daughter (neither live at home any more) but for the last few weeks the loneliness has really hit me so hard and I find myself feeling totally lost and feeling like I am going backwards rather than forwards. Has anyone else felt this way?
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Hello, I am only 4 months into a similar journey and from what I understand, it’s not a linear process…I really do get it though. Losing your spouse is the worst possible grief I think and we have had a lot of losses in our family since the beginning of 2020. I hope you have somebody to talk to when you are low. I have found that I have to pick up the phone and speak to a friend who doesn’t mind my offloading when the blues hit, which to be honest, is pretty much 90% of the time
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I feel you dear, its hard. No one can understand how difficult it can be except one in same condition. That’s why this platform is here to fine common grounds. I know no matter the support we get, we still fall back to our selves, living in this shadow of loneliness and grief even when people are around.
One day at a time is what is needed to do everything we wish to; yesterday is gone and will never come back; and tomorrow is not guaranteed, and may never come by.
Hence we need to all be strong no matter how hard, even when we don’t see the light yet through the tunnel, see through other people’s lights that have passed through that same tunnel.
It’s gonna me well. THINGS DONT JUST HAPPEN, BUT FOR A PURPOSE…GOD IS STILL GOD…
HUGssss
Hi there
I can totally empathise with how you feel 
To be fair I do think so many folk are finding this after lockdown . My hubby died of cancer sept 2019 and the first six months were very busy practically and I spent a lot of time with family .
Then lockdown hit and we were ALL lonely in different ways . I think I put my grief ‘ on hold’ in many ways .
Now gradually people are going out more , meeting friends and though I am often included and family and friends are more than kind it’s not the same . Friends are planning little breaks away as couples which is exactly what me and my hubby would have been doing !
Sooo we need to be kind to ourselves - readjust AGAIN to a different life . Never what we would have chosen but we have no choice . The main thing I have been doing often is simply walking most days . Sometimes with a friend or by myself - stop for a coffee etc and it can change my mood from dismay to delight in the simple things like sun and flowers 
.
I don’t think I will ever be happy again but I had almost 50 years of happy marriage with my man so memories to treasure always . Sending caring thoughts as you continue your own journey 
xx
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Hi Anst,
Yes I almost always feel like I am going backwards rather than forwards. It is now two and a half years for me which I can hardly believe! I too have a grown-up son and daughter, and they do help, but they have their own lives, wife/husband and children, so although I know they miss their dad tremendously, they still are able to find support from their respective families. My husband was 69 and I did watch him struggle with COPD, diabetes etc for a few years, although he was almost always upbeat and cheerful. I feel for you if your husband was fit and healthy - how devastating for you, and what a shock. For myself, I still end up in tears most days, longing for the life I had, but knowing it will never be. I sadly do think that the realisation kicks in more after a while. I still feel lost and lonely, but what can we do?
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