I am now three weeks into losing mum. I am starting to get cross at people. But most of all I feel so lonely. I feel life is sort of without purpose even though I know it’s not true as I have a husband and children. I tbink she was like the background tune to my life and now she’s gone it seems so pointless
Empty and lonely. I saw her most days in her final couple years. I texted her every mundane detail. Now it just feels like a howling nothingness. It’s sort of not so much about grief now but more about the reality that I wlll have to survive without her. Still doubt I will ever feel happy again. Have had one or two moments of relative calm usually when distracted and I think I am going to need more of those to survive.
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Your post really resonated with me so I wanted to reach out. It’s been over three months since I lost my darling mum and it’s still very tough. The anger is there and it’s caused many arguments with me and my partner and like you, mum was a huge part of my life, we spoke every single day since lockdown and I enjoyed our texts but now, nothing. How are you meant to adjust to that loss? It’s too much. It’s apocalyptic.
I have a beautiful baby girl and I had planned to spend loads of time with mum over maternity leave but she was cruelly taken from me. Is your dad around? Mine isn’t, so now I’m in my early forties without parents which I had never expected.
It’s shit isn’t it but what can we do? We just have to try and deal with this. Our mums wouldn’t want us to be miserable. Like everyone says, we have to think of the happier times but that will take time. I don’t know about you but I’m currently thinking about the last few weeks when she was ill, even though I don’t want to. I suppose that’s normal. Here if you want to chat.
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Hi.
I am 5 months in to losing my mom quickly and cruelly to cancer, she was a vibrant and loving person who did everything for us all.
I also had been spending every day with her, we went shopping on a monday and visited the charity shops and pound shops for bargains, my mum did love a bargain…lol
She always bought a little something extra on her shop and put it in my basket after we had paid, crumpets usually…!!
I was quite numb for the first few weeks, then angry at the cancer, im now always catching myself saying i will ask mum or call mum, she will know…
Its hit my dad realy hard but he tells me hes not so bad now,his sick feeling in his stomach has gone and she is now not always the first sad thought he has when he wakes of a morning.
Keeping busy has been his and my saviour…
We were all going on holiday this month… saddens me so much that this will not happen now.
I know mums looking after me, my wife asked me to get her some albas oil from the chemist.
I went to see how my dad was on route,we sat at the dining table and as i looked at the pictures on the sideboard i noticed a container of olbas oil !!! Your mums ,yours if you want it says my dad.
Thank you mum.
Chris.
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Wow, the olbas oil. That’s not just a coincidence xx
Thank you I will reach out tomorrow. I am 48 years old
And parentless also x
Im
With you on coincidences.
It’s like they can make small differences in the physical world. After my mums funeral a week ago I lay on her bed sobbing and as I shifted a blanket a card fell out that said thank you. Like you I liked to think that was mum getting a messGe to me for delivering the funeral she wanted and honouring her well. Gets you though doesn’t it. Xx
I am sure our departed loved ones can help us in this world of pain.
Its never when we are looking for help desperately, its just always when we need it most but dont know we do.
Your mum must have realy appreciated and loved the funeral you organised for her.
Hope your pain and sadness becomes happy loving memorys in time.
Chris
Sorry for your loss @BrackObama I’ve just lost my Dad and struggling … I’m also early 40’s
So difficult .
Also struggling with my partner and feeling angry …