It is now coming up to 12 months since loosing my wife. The past winter months has been so empty and I feel so lonely .
I have a son & daughter who I speck too most days , but it been the long empty days that really gets me down.
I am thinking now what should I do , and how to move on . The problem is problem is that I’m 70 years old how do u meet new people . I think if I even worked a way out to meet some one , I think I would feel guilty that I’m betraying my wife . And also who would want me at my age.
I Cant even clear my wife clothing and even if I got rid of them I know I would feel so guilty in a way I feel of betraying her
I would love to go out for meals & holiday but how can you go by myself I don’t think I would enjoy it , when my wife was with me I think being going out for. Meals & holiday was not about me was seeing her happy and sharing it with her .
At the moment every day seems the same I seem to be loosing interest in every thing , how do u get out of this cycle ?
I know how you feel , I am the same. It’s 6 months since I lost my husband suddenly. I have been to a few talking tables to help meet new people. The people there are lovely but a lot older than me . I really miss the outings I used to have with my husband. It’s the same with holidays. It’s having the courage to go on your own . I believe coming up to the 12 month mark can be quite hard . Look after yourself.
Hi Alan.Its being without your special person,youre a couple ,one is no good without the other.Im not lonely but feel so alone. The empty house,the stillness,its so heavy. Im trying to talk ,to go out but its just going through the motions,doing what everyone thinks I should be doing.Thought I was coping a bit better but the holiday weekend has knocked me back. Want to see people but dont want to see people! Im confused,dont know what they think about me constantly dithering about.
I’m the same, the loneliness and quiet of the house is crippling. So sad without my Ray, we did everything together and hated being apart. 6 months for me too, I lost him to pancreatic cancer after a few short weeks. We had so many plans for the future now gone in an instant.
I’m 55 and I honestly never thought I’d be in this position at my age. I’m scared of the future and I don’t want to do anything without him. Wherever I go there’s a pain in my heart, as I just want to share it with him and noone else.
These bank holiday weekends are so hard when you see everyone out, and especially couples. It just breaks my heart.
As someone said here, without our special partners, we’re just one half of a pair of scissors
It’s nearly 3 years for me and I’ve managed to make new female friends to have meals with breaks away with and I appreciate that .But the lonliness for the person we loved and lost doasnt go away .Its lovely for the people who meet by chance and are happy is great for them .But not every one is that lucky .Dating sites arnt for me but work for some people I guess it depends on what you are looking for .Hope everyone finds happiness in the future we are all on this lonley journey arnt we so at least we all know how it feels but we have to have hope .xx
We are never going to replace our loved ones but we can make life a little better I believe. I lost my husband suddenly 8 months ago. We had been together since teenagers and did everything together. Friends that I thought would be there for me just disappeared so I realised I’d have to make new ones.
It’s not easy but we have to reach out. I’ve recently met up with an old friend I’ve not seen for years and back in contact with my sister and partner who have been a godsend. All it took was a message. I’ve also been to a chatty café and a few bereavement clubs. They weren’t all for me but one was lovely and friendly, not gloomy at all.
Meeting new people is up to us. I’ll go anywhere once, if I don’t like it I leave.
I’m not throwing anything of my husband’s but I have had to put things away. I can’t stay in our beautiful home so it’s now on the market. Soon I will be putting it all in boxes and finding a new home for it all, Stephens coming with me x
After 40 years of marriage , I would find it very difficult to go to any social gathering by myself . My wife and I always went together, I feel I would stick out like a soar thumb if went to any place by myself.
I understand what you said about friends , a lot of sympathy was shown at the time but now I hardly hear from anyone .
About packing my wife’s clothes and belonging away I just feel so guilty , it feels like I’m just getting rid of her for good .
I suppose I will just have to pull myself and get on with it. I do see and talk to my family , they always ask me how I’m getting on . I got to a point where I always give a positive answer , I just don’t want them worrying about me.
It’s just being in alone and not having anyone to discuss simple mundane things with . It’s getting a point that I have to really push myself to do anything ,most of the time I think what’s the point it doesn’t matter whether I do them or not.
Hi Alan555 I am a similar age and on a similar timescale, since I lost my wife. I have found that by joining various activities I can navigate this lonely path we are now on. I have met a lot of nice people male and female but really they are only actuaintances. How you ever meet someone special to share times together is not clear to me.
Yesterday I read an article in the newspaper and thought of it when I read your comment about going out and making friends. A journalist in Manchester attended a “platonic dating event” which basically means an event where you meet potential new friends, instead of romantic partners. This one is for women, only, hence the name: Girls on the Go. It seems to cater for women of all ages, not just younger age groups. The journalist seemed to think it worked well, and said she met several people she’s kept up with, since. They have events across the UK.
I know nothing will replace him, and nothing ever should. But it’s good to have someone to go places with, and share stories with, and make new memories with, someone with no expectations and similar motives.
If you google Girls on the Go it takes you straight to their details.
Just realised I didn’t say thanks for your helpful information. I had a look at that site, looks interesting. Seems a good way to make new friends in the future. Not there yet for me, but I appreciate it!