My partner died suddenly in August. He was relatively young. I feel exhausted with feeling so vulnerable and alone. I feel disconnected and disjointed. I feel so vulnerable and admitting that adds to it. Grief and loss are so personal, yet we all go through the same process, we just all do it differently I guess. I’m trying to use this forum as a healthy way to express how I feel. Unbelievably, some people are using my vulnerability to try and take advantage of me and the situation I find myself in…and with a drink and no sleep, I’m not feeling strong enough to deal with it effectively! I’m truly sorry for anyone who reads this, it’s still such early days for me, and time isn’t healing a thing! Whiskey on the other hand…xxx
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Time being a healer is such a cr*p saying. Things get more manageable over time.
Everyone here has to find their own way of playing the cards they have been dealt with.
No instruction book or magic wand but do what feels right for you. Your feelings are normal - keeping reading other posts to see this.
Advice I was given was – don’t let other people dictate.
Take care.
G. X
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Thank you for taking the time to read my post and the time to reply. I really appreciate that. I’ve felt so overwhelmed, with every conceivable thought and emotion, I know I’ve not been thinking clearly at all, my behaviour has been irrational at times too. I’ve engaged in some risky behaviours, which is in stark contrast to my nature. I’m no psychologist, but its a way to avoid my own feelings, a way of not feeling alone, a way of not having to address the real issues that are present. Initially I was coping by focusing on living one hour at a time, I was living on adrenaline and caffeine and not much else. My routine has improved to a degree, the days are not too bad, I’m always busy! The evenings and nights are the worst, everything feels heightened. But I am stubborn and I’ve overcome tragedies in the past. I know I have the strength to continue. I have no choice. Thank you for listening, for understanding, for empathy. Thank you xxx
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You have already made a giant step ahead joining this site, it will help you sharing your thoughts and feelings with everyone here going through the same loss. I have felt all the same feelings you mentioned in your post, I lost my beloved soulmate suddenly to a heart attack at only 57 yrs old. It happened 22 months ago, and like you I was completely disconnected, as if I was living in a different dimension, just couldn’t take it all in. The shock is so unbearable, I know, but you can make it.
The love you shared with your partner will give you strength to go on, he will always be with you.
Take care of yourself.
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Thank you so much for making contact & sharing your thoughts & experience. It means a lot. It was & continues to be a shocking experience. At 47, I am alone with 2 young children who are grieving the loss of their father. There are many unanswered questions, clarity may or may not come as time passes. I know I can conquer most days, it’s the hollowness & emptiness I feel inside that I find tough to cope with. I feel like such a huge part of me died too that day. Life is always going to be different, and not every day is awful. But everyday feels tainted beacuse of that loss. Anything & everything I do feels tainted, scarred in some way
I see strength and resilience in my children. I think, from my experience, children see issues in a much more back & white sense. I think about the whole situation in its entirety and beyond. The could haves, should haves, the what ifs, the firsts, the lasts. My children will not only miss their Dad for the rest of their lives, but them, him and myself are missing out by him not being here. He was so unique & will always be irreplaceable
Take care
X
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