Hi,
My wife of 17 years passed very suddenly on 15/05/2025. I am in total shock, the thing I am struggling with most is the loneliness and having to put all the things in order, which is scary, as my wife did all of this. I have friends contacting me, but am terrified of the future without her.
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Hi, I am very sorry for youāre loss.
If you need to rant or ramble please feel free. You are on a difficult path. I am on week 17, since i lost my beautiful soul mate and its not easy. The most important thing is to look after yourself. Take care
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Siggs, I am so sorry that you have started on this hard journey that all of us here are on. Give yourself time, you are still in shock. When my Darling wife of 52 years died in April 2024, she was well in the morning and died the same day. I could not believe it . I was lucky as I have 2 grown up children. Because of the sudden death we had to wait for an autopsy and coronerās report. It was a month before we could have the funeral. You will cope with the future as hard as it seems, If you feel the need, speak to your GP Doctor. People who have not been through the loss of a long term partner do not understand. Come on here for a chat, we are all on this journey. We do understand what you are going through as we are doing the same. I leave BBC radio 4 on all the time as it makes a background of mainly talking. I am thinking of you.
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@Siggs Hi, Iām sorry for your loss. I lost my husband unexpectedly in March 2025. He was only 52 years old and we had been together for 24 years.
Yes, a future without them is painful, lonely and scary. We also have to taken on new responsibilities - my husband dealt with the house finances, which Iāve had to take over. It sucks! Life without them is incomplete.
Warmest of hugs to you x
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Hiya,
I am so sorry for your loss, you seem to be in the very same situation as me. Hopefully we can keep in touch on here and help each other through our pain.
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Hi Siggs, it is a hard journey we are on so letās try to travel together. There are some great, kind people here who will reach out despite their own pain.
My grief journey started on 22 April, when my dear wife Sue passed after 42 years of marriage. It feels like part of your being has just disappeared. All we can hope for is that the love we all had for those we have lost will live on.
When you are having a bad time, tell us. If you ever have a better time, tell us that too. Just remember, you matter and we are here for you and each other. Take care.
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Siggs, do not be afraid to ask for help or to rely on others. I am really sorry that your wife died. Everyone here knows the pain and the loneliness. Of course you are in shock, it is a traumatic experience to lose oneās spouse. And youāve just begun the worst journey youāve ever been on.
Here is what you do: you pay the bills; force yourself to eat; feed the pets and rest. Everything else can wait.
Start a notebook of names and numbers you have to remember, who you spoke to an when. Each day make a list of 5 things you must do, get them done and mark them off the list. I suggest you will be confused, anxious, panicky, scared, depressed, sad, fearful, unable to process too much information at one; stumble to make sentences; and pace in circles for a while. The lists each day will prove that you are functioning. You will complete 35 tasks a week. 150 in a month.
The avalanche of paperwork is a grind, take it bit by bit.
Live hour by hour, do not dwell on, or mourn. the lost future. You will mourn it in real time when it gets here. Donāt borrow mourning.
I was a wreck for 3 months. I felt a little shift in month 4. Acceptance? āOnly you can pull yourself together?ā. Probably both. It is now 34 weeks. Things are different. I have established a routine to manage the household affairs. Counting my months, it is 8 and it is nothing like the first 90-120 days.
Youāll be okay. You will get through this fog and come out on the other side, just not yet.
Love from the US
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I lost my soulmate this March and this morning is just too much. I thought I was doing ok especially the last two three weeks but itās like a tidal wave with a tsunami behind it. I just canāt pull myself together and wonder if I ever will.
Like everyone on here I miss him so much and any other problem however small just makes the whole thing worse.
I can stand gentle tears but the horrendous sobbing and crying out I feel today are just too much and I know we all get those days.
Iām at my one of my sons for dinner later and I need to pull myself together as heās got his own problems which I need to support him with.
My John wasnāt his dad but he is supportive in his own wayā¦
What a bloody horrid time we are all havingā¦
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I agree, when the wave hits it seems to hit hard. 4 months today and i am still crying . I hope you are ok for your dinner.
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Oh Mitzi, yes it is bloody horrid. Nothing can prepare you for this. We are all taking one step at a time, one day at a time. What else can we do? I feel like my life was a completed jigsaw puzzle and someone has come along and thrown it in the air. And now none of the pieces fit together. I hope you enjoy your dinner. I will try to enjoy mine with my kids and their spouses and our dogs.
Smile, open your eyes, love and go on ā¦
Hi,
I feel like Iām the same as you,
I am so lost
A day feels like a life time
I canāt sleep
I hate eating alone
I have pains in my tummy all day long
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@Caroline2303
I know how you are feeling.
Itās not just emotional itās very much physical.
I felt ill for the first 5/6 weeks and I canāt describe the feelings except just really ill. My body just sort of shutdown.
I admit that has improved but this overwhelming sadness n grief is beyond description.
Like I said I thought I was doing ok but this morning is hellish
We all say one day at a time or even one minute or hour and sometimes we cope n other times we donātā¦x
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I get up in the day & I donāt know what to do with myself.
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@Caroline2303
When did your beloved pass.?x
On 17th April,
he was diagnosed terminal cancer stage 4 on 10 January.
Cholangiocarcinoma with liver metastasise which started in the bile ducts & had spread to his liver & bile ducts.
I nursed him at home by myself with the help of my son in the evenings.
He had lost nearly 6 stone & had not eaten for 6 weeks & could barely swallow half a teaspoon of water.
It was very upsetting to see cancer take hold of my husband like that.
I meet him when I was 18 years old & we had been married 48 & 1/2 years.
He was my only boyfriend.
Whatās your story?
@Caroline2303
My John passed away suddenly 6/3.
We only had 2 n half years together as we met late in life but he was my soulmate and me his. We didnāt live together but were discussing it or even marriage. I was the one holding back only because I have been divorced before.
I was at his house n we had just had breakfast and going out n he was putting his trainers on n gasping for breath. He had done this before so he wouldnāt let me ring an ambulance but I eventually did n he had an arrested in the ambulance.
Post mortem showed Pulmonary Thromboembolism and lower limb DVT.
Heād felt poorly for a few weeks n I missed the signs. Weād been on a long haul flight at Xmas so it makes me wonder if it started thenā¦He then had ācrampā in his right calfā¦cough, tired, generally feeling a bit off as he saidā¦ā¦all the bloody signs.
We are both retired and had so many plans. He was a big traveller and wanted to travel moreā¦Unfortunately he had the ultimate journeyā¦
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Awww Iām so sorry to hear your story 
Itās unbelievably hard, you have to experience it for yourself to fully understand the devastating grief of what loss feels like.
I think i slept better before the funeral than since, now itās all over & everyoneās returned to there daily routines & it feels like Iāve got a brand one that Iāve been dealt & I donāt want!
My husbands name was John as well.
My husbands name was John as well!
Do you have family living near by you?