I can honestly say that I have never felt so lonely in all my life as now. It’s bad enough having to deal with the grief. But being alone makes life so hard. The doorbell is more or less silent. I long for the days gone by when there used to be more community spirit.

Where we used to live my mum would often be in our next door neighbours house even more so when her husband died. I can’t imagine that happening where I live now. People know mum has passed. But no one has even bothered to see if I’m ok.

Or may need some help. I can honestly say I’m tired of the way life and people are these days. All everyone seems to want to do is check their phone and see what’s happening on it. Rather than looking out for others.

I dread getting up each day now life is so meaningless. I could never have anticipated that I would of lost my only friend of 20 plus years. And on top of that my mum as well,


Dear @MarkC

I am sorry to hear you are feeling lonely and for the loss of your friend and mum.

Times sadly have changed and it is a different generation compared to years gone by as to neighbours checking to see how you are and friends ringing up. It is as if your world has stopped but their world has just carried on.

I do think people these days struggle as to knowing what to do or say when a friend has lost a loved one. Should I ring, go round, do you need time on your own to grieve.

Have you friends or family you can ring or go out with and explain how you feel. Have you thought about joining a club locally in your area or doing voluntary work so that you are seeing people.

Do you like animals? Just a thought about getting a dog which would get you out of the house and you would meet people daily.

I would speak to your GP to see what support they can offer you and to see if there are any local bereavement groups in your area that you could join.

Sue Ryder has a Grief Self-Help Service that has useful information and will help you understand and cope with your bereavement and grief.
Please continue to reach out, you are not alone and we are all here to support you.

Take care.


Hello Mark . Its the same for me , the loneliness is dreadful and i dread getting up to another lonely day . I was a carer to my mum for 26 years and she died 13 months ago . Its true what you said , neighbours don’t check on you anymore . All we can do is take it minute by minute , hour by hour . Take care of yourself.
Love Angie xx

Hi Angie sounds like you have been down a similar path to me. I looked after my mum for around about ten years. We became so close when my dad died.

It still wasn’t nice losing dad but at least I had mum and Kevin in my life. Which at the time is something. But now I have no one the silence is deafening. I started a journal this morning on Sue Ryder.

One of the prompts it gave a examples to use is what do I miss most. I put the noises like mum eating her breakfast. Used to make her Weetabix with milk. Yes agreed I too find getting up to emptiness hard also… Thanks for replying.

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Hi Mark , we are going down a similar path even now . I hope the journal helps you . My bereavement counsellor has told me its a good idea to write things down but i have never tried it . The silence is deafening , you don’t realise how bad loneliness is until it happens to you . Take care.
Love Angie xx

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Hi Angie your right there, Totally.

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