It is some time since I last posted here after my husband died on 29 June 2021 after 54 years of marriage. Eighteen months down the line I still miss Peter so much and still can’t come to term with the devastation I felt at the beginning. I do go out and mix with others but I don’t think anyone really understands how I feel. Nobody mentions his name and if I do they move on to another subject. This in itself hurts. I have written journals (I am on number five at the moment). I just cannot seem to move on. Am I just being stupid or is this normal? I surely am not alone in this lengthy process. Sending love to all going through this experience. Moira
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Hello Moira,
No you are not being stupid. I don’t know what normal is anymore. Whatever it was before doesn’t resemble what is left now. I am so sorry you are still feeling such devastation but can quite understand. I am ten months in and still feel the same and if I’m honest I can’t ever see me feeling any different and that is ok with me. It is a lengthy process by all accounts so it may take many years to come to find some kind of acceptance. I have started writing in a journal although I have only written a couple of times and nothing to long. I think it is helping … well in the moment at least. Sending love back to you.X
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Dear Moira. No you are not stupid or alone in how you feel it is over 2years since i lost my husband Peter in April 2020 and i am still feeling totaly lost without him none of the family mention him anymore and i want to talk about him most people think we should be over our pain by now but i honestly think mine is getting worse i cannot move on i have tried like you i go out and see people but it doesnt help i sometimes think there must be something wrong with me why i cant move on. Jenny. X
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Hi Moira,
I totally understand where you are coming from although my wife only passed away on April 29th this year.
I am back at work and trying to occupy my time but it is all such a struggle and I am unable to find any enjoyment or have any motivation.
It is just me now, we were married for 26 beautiful years and had a great life together, I want to be able to smile at the memories but can’t as yet.
54 years together, wow I imagine you have had some amazing times with each other, I guess people can’t properly understand how you feel.
Our feelings are so subjective, I have tried saying to friends about my love for Carole but I can almost see their eyes glazing over so I change the subject.
I have better days and think to myself that life is constantly moving, we never know what may happen in the future…sometimes it helps!
Sending love back to you.
Joe x
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You are not alone in feeling as you do as I feel exactly the same. It’s been 18 months since I lost Ian but to me it seems like yesterday. Those feelings of heartache, sadness and disbelief are still as strong as ever, if not stronger. I just don’t know how to live with any purpose anymore….
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I feel just the same. Nothing more to say.x
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