Loneliness

I lost my partner of 35 years 18 months ago. I try to keep busy, although I find the evenings and Sundays very difficult to get through.

I thought I was beginning to cope better but I’m finding this 2nd year being on my own really hard. I miss my partner so much, and all the things we used to do together, and although I try to meet up with people they never fill the gap my partner has left. I feel I am sliding back into the raw grief I first felt when he passed away.

Has anyone else found the 2nd year really hard?

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Hello @Danielle2 ,

I’m so sorry for the loss of your partner. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.

Take good care,
Alex

Not loss a partner has never been married, but loss my mum last year. I lived with her for 50 odd years and yes Sundays are not great. The tears have come today now and again. When you on your own that’s the hardest.

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I lost my partner and soulmate of 35 years in July last year, 2 weeks after his 69th birthday. My heart is broken and comin up to 9 months and the pain is no less. I keep myself busy, volunteering with AgeUK Exeter three times a week which gives me a reason for getting up in the mornings but evenings, nights and weekends are so difficult. Fortunately I have both family and friends who try to make the weekends more enjoyable but the loneliness and pain follow me around wherever I am

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I’m into my second year, lost my Keef February 2023, and I have been feeling lately as bad as I did at first. I have been trying to socialise more lately as I thought that would help but have come to my own conclusion that I should stay at home with my little cats. I seem to have gone back to crying every day. I have always found the weekends bad possibly for two reasons, one it was a Saturday night that he went and two people seem to be busy and now don’t appear to want to include me anymore. I have a rather busy social calendar coming up, birthdays and weddings, but with how I’ve been feeling lately I think that I’m going to not take part. It’s so hard trying to exist now on my own, hopefully sometime during the summer my grown up autistic son is moving back home so at least the house won’t seem quite as empty.

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I was reading an article the other day.saying that 2nd year can be harder cos the numbness has gone and the.reality.of our situation has hit home :frowning: i find it hard in different ways. Im 16 months into this and i was married 35 years too ! Its very difficult isnt it ? Adjusting to this crap life on our own. I hate it. Honestly i do but what can we do. Ive met a few dog walker friends my age which is nice ofcourse and a relief having people i can talk to. Continue to try make friends. It helps xx

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Yes I am finding second year hard.
Struggle forcing myself.
Yesterday I couldn’t stand being indoors. It was raining. I got in car, walked through the park to avoid meters.
Tulips were out.
Get reminded when we did this together. Trudged on. Went and. bought two scarves two pound each from a charity shop.
Went to the old people’s centre all women. Watched them doing international dancing and chatted to someone. Went in a pub and bought myself a meal. Sitting on my own reading.
Back home cold but I had a free delivery of frozen meals so then hits me I need to
Spend another lonely evening.

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Hi everyone I’m just coming upto the 1st anniversary of my husband’s passing May 1st 2023 is when we lost him I go out have to push myself as I like company and I’m going on holiday with my daughter and friends but just can’t get over loosing him I cry ever day feel really sad and really heart-broken all the time my antidepressants have been increased had Bereavement councilling just wish I could get through this terrible grieving and pain I try so hard to move on but grief won’t let me I’ve been at my sons for nearly a week and the minute I get in my house the loneliness and empty ness hits me we were together for 51 years went everywhere together I’ve tried everything that has been suggested but I just loved my husband that much as he did me and find it so hard to accept he’s not here but I won’t give in take care everyone xx

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Yes I was with my husband two thirds of my life too. Miss him too and also had the counselling but that doesn’t take away the grief just marches on. I a forcing myself to try to get out of the depression that is part of it.
Whoever I go it just walks with me. What an effort. I feel cold as chave no working central heating yet. Always seems more bad news. I am trying to be pleased that the bluebells are out in my garden and tulips. But I have put on two stone which is depressing because of being an emotional eater. I chance to summon huge amount of reserves to lose it again. When you get older there is this sadness. Losing more people. It seems inevitable.

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Hi Enorac hope you get your central heating sorted this weather doesn’t help any went with my son to a garden centre this last weekend and I too love my garden so bought some plants but as usual the weather is so changeable can’t put them in yet as for eating nothing wrong with that myself I seem my appetite has gone I’m hungry just don’t fancy anything apart from sweets as I have always had a sweet tooth and yes as you get older there is a lot of sadness but never felt anything like this before I was told grief is all the love :heart: you have inside and now they have gone its just bouncing around inside you take care and do hope you can get your heating sorted x

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Thank you so much for your understanding reply Jennisome 1946

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Hi Enorac anytime take care