Lonely after losing my wife

After losing my dear wife in July last year, I find myself now alone in the world, we have two grown up-daughters who don’t live near me, I live quite remote I took care of my dear Norma for a lot of years till she died in my arms just over a year ago, I don’t see many people here, my wife and I were quite a private couple, I don’t hear much from our daughters they ring now and again, if I ring them they are usually busy with their lives and don’t have time for a natter and I feel like I am bothering them, I have a disability myself and don’t get out much if the weather is poor, I can’t afford to pack up and move so I am stuck, the last person I spoke to was my daughter on Sunday
thanks for reading this


I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear wife, @Hawk59, and for how lonely you’re feeling. I hope you know that the community is here for you.

Sometimes, just having someone at the end of the phone can make a difference. The Silver Line Helpline run by Age UK is a free, confidential telephone service for older people. They provide friendship, conversation and support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can call them free on 0800 4 70 80 90.

You might also want to look at Scope’s Community Engagement programme and see if there is something in your area you can join.

I hope these suggestions are helpful - take good care.



I feel so sad for you. I’ve only just lost my beautiful wife and ache for her. Living alone is horrible and having little contact with your daughters must be hard. I don’t know how to keep on living, there seems no point but I know my Pam would want me to live for her. I’m dreading Christmas. I will be thinking of you. Life is so hard on our own.


Hello, so sorry for your loss, a counsellor told me to, take each day like baby steps, after Norma died last year, her brother died four days later been a tough time, your dear wife would like you to carry on and make a great Christmas a wonderful time

1 Like

Thank you. I know Pam will be willing me to live on and I am trying to convince myself that I must, I miss her so so much. She was my best friend as well as being my wife and we just lived for each other. Her death was so unexpected and so quick and I feel like I could have a breakdown. It must be the same for everyone going through a bereavement and I don’t know where to find the strength to carry on.


I lost my wife 4 weeks ago, in July we were told she had months rather than years left, she was afflicted with a very nasty aggressive cancer and from around the second week of August her decline and passing was quite swift - though I was there at the end and saw that she was finally free of the pain she had been suffering up to that point. The first week after she died I was totally inconsolable, feeling like I was in an airless void but rather than trying to find the strengh to carry on, it found me. I had to get on with doing all the administrative stuff and organising the funeral, ensuring everyone that she would want to have been there was made aware , calling up her oldest friends to let them know - all of which was painful but I found got me out of the depressing black hole that I had found myself in. Some of the old friends have since maintained contact with me giving me a bit of a light at the end of what three weeks ago was a very dark tunnel. I’m not saying doing any of the above will have the same effect for you just recounting my journey back towards living again which is still a very long way off. Coming on here has also really helped.


So sorry for the loss of your dear wife, my dear wife died in July last year, we were together a long time and became great friends, Norma had MS for about 30 years

1 Like

I know we have to be emotionally strong but it’s not easy. I have thousands of photos on my phone and they frequently pop up and I feel so disloyal to my Pam but I quickly slide them away as they start me becoming so emotional and I start crying. It was her funeral yesterday and that was so so hard.

1 Like

Totally understand. Its far from easy and is the most painful thing I’ve ever had to deal with however I can now look through most photos without being completely devastated, though there remain some that just get to me. I decided to remove her photos from my phone though and store them on a DVD and an external hard disc - so that they dont just pop up unexpectedly and leave me in a blubbering mess in the middle of Aldi - as nearly happened just after she passed, and I can go back to them whenever I like, and can print off pictures that the kids or her mother want to have. You will find your own way of dealing with everything though that is the right way for you.


I became upset for a while looking at my wife’s photos, I still find it hard to mix with people and talk about my dear Norma without breaking down

I am in a similar position with the loss of my husband. I looked after him for 8 years he died a year ago. I didn’t get time to grieve as dad took ill and he too died. I don’t have children or family.
It’s hard to stay positive when alone. I just want someone to hug me and comfort me. So sad these days.

1 Like

So sorry for your loss of your husband and father, our children don’t live near me, and I live quite remote, and don’t see many people it is lonely when we lose our loved ones

1 Like