I feel so sad and lonely, and so full of grief, following my mother’s death last month. How is everybody else coping?
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I’m so sorry for your loss @Seaside23 . This time of year seems to exaggerate that sense of loss, if that can even be possible. My Dad passed away last year, just before Christmas, and the range of emotions has constantly changed. For me, at the beginning, everything was so raw and I was just in shock. I was sad and teary for weeks on end and then slowly I started the journey of acceptance. I still think about my Dad, talk about him, grieve for him every single day but I don’t feel the same as I did, in terms of how I grieve. I can smile and laugh when I think or talk about him. He was such a special man and I want to remember the good times and speak to those who knew him about the amazing man he was.
I hope you have friends and family who can support you at this very sad time. Think about self referring to Mind for grief counselling as it can take many weeks/months to get an appointment. It might help to be able to speak through your feelings with a professional. They’ll suggest coping strategies for dealing with your grief.
Also, use this site for support - there are some amazing people out there!
Be kind to yourself and I wish you all the best in the days to come 
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Thank you so much for your eloquent and considered response. It has given me hope that I can manage the coming storm. Thanks for being compassionate, but realistic and practical too. Very much appreciated. And I wish continued healing for you on your grief journey.
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You’re so welcome @Seaside23 . I don’t think anything in life prepares us for such an immense loss as a beloved parent. Just take everything one day at a time and never feel you have to hide your grief from anyone or apologise when you’re having a bad moment. You do you and let everyone around you accept your journey for what it is. You really will get through the choppy waters of grief. I still have wobbles when I hear a song on the radio for example and I avoid driving past places I used to take my Dad, even his barbers, but its my little coping measures that get me through.
I wish you well and continued heeling
My second Christmas without both my parents and not feeling festive!
The first Christmas without my Mum, my Dad had the start of his health issues and we ended up with District Nurses out and an ambulance & visit to A&E on Boxing Day!
Last Christmas & NY I was down with Covid which in someways was a blessing in disguise.
So this is the first ‘normal’ Xmas without them.
Having had bereavement counselling and been involved in some wonderful groups for my MH I am in a much better place this year than last but still feel lonely and going through the motions.
I understand this is perfectly normal as part of the grieving process but wish I could just hibernate for a fortnight!
@Seaside23 & @Jess2023 sending you strength and hope you can find some happy memories amongst the sad ones over the next few days.
Take care 
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I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I have lost my dad 117 days ago and I am also struggling. I know it sounds pretty harsh but things will get harder as time goes by. There are so many “firsts” to deal with. It gets so overwhelming. How I’m dealing is by pretending he will still be there for Christmas, I will have a gift for him and a card. Maybe you can do the same, maybe it will give you some peace.
Ehrm, thanks. I think.
I lost mum in march and quickly hit birthdays - mum was going to be 90 in june and in 2 weeks there’s my sis bday, mum’s, mine and my nephew’s 21st. But xmas is hard. Since teenager I’ve decorated her house whether i spent xmas there or not it was my job. Have avoided going to the house it’s too painful
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I’m sorry for your loss @Temporary . The “firsts” are definitely a challenge and I guess we all have our coping methods. This is my second Christmas without my Dad but for me I’d be sadder buying a gift and card knowing it’ll never be opened by him - that would exaggerate his absence 
But that’s the thing about everyone’s journey of grief - what works for some doesn’t for others and that’s all completely “normal”. I’m sorry to read you’re struggling so much and I hope you have a support network, especially this time of year. Your Dad will always be in your heart
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I’m sorry for your loss @Heartbroken1937 - you sound like you’ve been through so much and I completely understand why you’re not feeling festive. Sometimes its like watching it all from the outside - everyone around you carrying on as normal and getting all Christmassey and yet all those grieving just going through the motions.
Last Christmas was a blur for me and it was spent sandwiched between my Dad passing away and his funeral. I think we were all just numb. This year though, we’re doing it for my Dad and have the tree up, presents under it but it’ll never be as it was when he was still here. I guess nothing will ever change that feeling. My comfort is that my Dad adored Christmas so much, as did his Dad and this crazy Christmas gene is definitely part of me so I’m thankful I inherited this from him and as part of his legacy I want to try and get my love of Christmas back over the coming years 
I’ve read so many lovely poems over the past year and one read on my behalf at his service definitely resonates with me. I read it so often, it helps me
You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on
I hope your journey of grief continues to ease and that you too can find some happy Christmas memories to recall - thank you for your kind words to me
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You’re most welcome @Heartbroken1937 . I hope it brings some comfort to you, as it does me whenever I read it. I chose it to be read on my behalf at my Dad’s service last year and I know he would have understood why
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@Jess2023 thank you for your kind words! You are so right! Things are hard but God knows there’s nothing we can do about it so just have to get on with it.
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Hi im ferling much the same as you i lost my mum.last november and i am still in pain. My family do kerp my mind onnother things fortunately. But when left alone, i find it very difficult, it does help me though lnowing i have this vommunity to turn to xx