Lonely and Sad

Should be waking up to my soulmate next to me instead I was too scared earlier to open my eyes and look at the empty pillow my heart is shattered

Hello Ade. I’ve read all your posts and although I’m not in a position to offer you any words of wisdom I would like to send you compassionate thoughts and heartfelt empathy. I’m not doing that great myself but I won’t say how long it’s been since my loss as I don’t want you thinking the same might apply to you. I’ve noticed how you’ve welcomed so many people here and given so many kind words of support whilst in a desperately sad place yourself. That’s no mean feat at all. You must have an inner strength you don’t realise. If I ever were to be able to give just one iota of advice it would be to not suffer in silence and tell someone sooner rather than later if the struggle gets too much. Bottling things up gets us absolutely no where fast. Grief will wait, unfortunately for us. It’s like we’ve lost an innocence we never knew we had when we experience bereavement I feel. Do take care, I wish you well.

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Thankyou you so much I really appreciate your kind and thoughtfelt words im so so sorry for your loss too of course it matters we all matter i am struggling badly at the moment I’m at the doctors Wednesday so I’ll see what they say and waiting on cruse bereavement waiting list for another eight to ten weeks nothing anyone will say will bring my 6 1 friendly giant back into my arms but anything just to help calm the anxiety and panic that freezes my face and jaw im utterly truamatised witnesing it all happen in front of me we had our future mapped out dreams and hopes to grow old together everything he passed away in my arms 39 three months before his 40th birthday we had seventeen years together moved on three months later until we had enough to buy our own house yes he is my world will always will be I appreciate your kind words means alot take care of yourself as much as possible and keep in touch sending you a hug and sorry again for your loss your in my thoughts x

Hi Ade,

I’ve been reading your posts and your grief and pain comes through so strongly. I’m sorry to hear that you are facing a long wait for bereavement support. I just wanted to let you know that we also offer an online bereavement counselling service here on the Sue Ryder Online Community - it’s free and takes place over video chat. Find out more here: https://support.sueryder.org/bereavement-counselling

You sound as though you really need someone to talk to and some support, so I’d encourage you to check them out if you think that might work for you.

The Samaritans are also always there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything that’s bothering you (116 123, or jo@samaritans.org).

If you ever feel you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999, go to A&E or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Take care,
Priscilla
Community Manager

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Thankyou Priscilla for your kind words means alot I really appreciate it thankyou I will definitely look into it and your suggestions thanks again from the bottom of my broken empty heart Adele x

Hi Adele, you find the time to help me and others when you are struggling yourself. You are a very caring person. Sending you love and positive thoughts. x

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Hi Kieran thankyou for your kind words means alot Its six months and eleven days today I was being transferred to Cramlington Specialist Hospital with my soulmate where in the early hours of tonight we were rused to ctitical care and on the Wednesday afternoon around 2.15 he fell asleep in my arms three months before his 40th birthday which would have been January im utterly truamatised witnesing it all happen in front of my eyes we had all the future mapped out dreams and hopes to grow old together everything all cruelly tragically ripped away no words can describe the pain thankyou for your kind heartfelt words much appreciated take care of yourself as much as possible in my thoughts Adele x

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You are very welcome and I’m glad to hear that you are considering our online counselling service. Take care,
Priscilla

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Thankyou it means alot at this time take care speak soon x

Hi Ade-I agree with Kieran and the others. You appear on so many threads, and always have a kind word of support for those in pain. I had a different loss than you, but still you offered me warmth and caring. I hope I can do the same for you.
So sorry for all you are going through. Xxx Sister2

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Thankyou so much for your kind words means alot at this point it’s six months and two weeks tomorrow afternoon since my Edward fell asleep in my arms im really struggling it’s tonight we got rushed to critical care where he fell asleep in my arms on the Wednesday afternoon when they removed what I can describe as a helmet the breathing mask thankyou again for your kindness and words of support sending you a hug take care speak soon Adele xx

My wife didn’t die a rapid and shocking death. I think it might have destroyed me and I can’t even get to the point of thinking about it. It might have been better for her had she done so but, being selfish, I know it wouldn’t have been better for me. When my time comes I want to go really quickly, I don’t want to live under that cloud for months or years. I’m really touched by your posts Adele and I can feel your pain from what you say and how you say it. I really hope that somehow you can feel a degree of change one day. I read that suffering may be for ever but pain reduces. Mine has over time, and bit by bit, and I hope yours does. I’ve said before that we torture ourselves by thinking, it’s the human condition. It’s like sticking pins in yourself and knowing it will hurt… A type of self harming that nobody else can see. I wish I had a solution.

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Thankyou so much for your kind words they mean alot at this time it will be six months and two weeks tomorrow afternoon since my Edward fell asleep in my arms im utterly truamatised witnesing it all happen in front of my eyes in fact tonight the Tuesday in the early hours we were rushed to critical care where he fell asleep in my arms on the Wednesday afternoon after what I can describe as a helmet was the breathing machine even though he was taking some of his own breaths im so so sorry for your loss too and thanks again for your hearfelt words at this time thankyou in my thoughts take care as much as possible Adele x

I have never been on anything like this before but hoped it would help talking to people going through same thing. I lost my lovely husband 8 weeks ago. He went into hospital for a transplant for lymphoma which he had suffered from for 8 years. He was only 55. We had so many tough years. The transplant was our great hope. He died in March in intensive care. I was with him when he died. Our children were with us. It was devastating, he had done so well. It all went wrong just as he was about to come home in March. I feel the pain each of you are suffering. I am so sorry for your loss. I identify with so much of what people are saying. I do not look at his pictures or listen to music. Everything is unbearable. I try very hard for our children to put a brave face on and say I think I’m a little better but I can see nothing but heartache in front of me. Hope things get better. Debra

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